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They obeyed immediately and Luca moved closer to Tia and took her hands in his.
‘What is it that you’re afraid of?’
She shook her head, unable to articulate her feelings. ‘I don’t know—everything. I’m afraid of the baby coming early, I’m afraid of having surgery.’ Her heart thudded faster and she looked at him with scared eyes. ‘I didn’t want it to be like this. I thought it would all be normal.’
His grip on her hands tightened. ‘Not everyone is given the perfect delivery,’ he said softly, ‘but what matters in the end is that you are both fine. The rest of it we can deal with. Dan is one of the best surgeons I’ve ever seen and I’ll be there the whole time—’
‘Can’t you do it?’
His jaw tensed and for the first time in her pregnancy she thought she detected signs of strain in his face. Maybe he wasn’t quite as relaxed as he liked to pretend.
‘Tia, you know I wouldn’t be the best person for this.’ His eyes locked with hers and he smoothed her hair away from her face. ‘I cannot operate on the woman I—on my girlfriend,’ he amended quickly. ‘Dan is the best person.’
‘Can’t I have a normal delivery?’
Luca let out a long breath. ‘We could start that way and see how it goes, but you’re bleeding again and I’d rather we were in control of the situation from the start. My instincts are that we should get the baby out now.’
And he had the best instincts of any doctor she had ever met.
‘All right.’ Tia pulled herself together and gave a nod. ‘I just want the baby to be safe. Let’s get on with it, then.’
‘We’ll give you an epidural,’ Luca said, standing up and making for the door. ‘I’ll bleep the anaesthetist.’
The thought of having an epidural frightened her as well, but she knew that it was much safer for the baby than a general anaesthetic. But what would it be like to be awake as the baby was delivered?
She tried to be rational. At least if she had an epidural then she’d be able to be a part of the birth.
And Luca would be there.
Fighting down the panic, Tia gave Luca a smile, but she knew from the growing concern in Luca’s eyes that he understood exactly how she was feeling.
‘We’ll give you some gas and air until the anaesthetist arrives,’ Polly said briskly, pulling the machine closer to the bed. ‘Do you want me to remind you how to use it?’
Tia gave a weak smile. They were all shown how to use it in their training, of course, and she helped women use gas and air on an almost daily basis, but it was quite a different matter to be the patient!
‘I tried it once when I was training,’ she told Polly. ‘It made me feel dizzy.’
‘Yes, well, dizzy might be a pleasant change from the pain,’ Polly observed, her gaze sympathetic as Tia gave another groan as a contraction gripped her. ‘Let’s give this a try, and don’t breathe too quickly. That’s usually why people get dizzy, as you know.’
Polly handed her the mouthpiece and Tia breathed steadily, screwing up her face as the pain intensified.
‘Well done. Good girl.’ Polly encouraged her gently through the contraction and Luca slid an arm round her shoulders, hugging her against him as the contraction ended.
‘You need to start using the gas and air as soon as your uterus starts to harden,’ Polly reminded her, and Tia nodded, her face pale and drawn.
Luca stroked her hair and softly spoke to her in Italian.
‘What?’ Tia looked at him, pain making her uncharacteristically grumpy. ‘What did you say? I didn’t understand you.’
Something flickered in his dark eyes and he hesitated. ‘I said that it will soon be over,’ he muttered, and Dan shot him a strange look.
‘What? But I thought—’ He broke off as he caught Luca’s eye. ‘Well, I mean…my Italian never was any good, anyway.’ He cleared his throat and turned his attention back to the notes just as Duncan Fraser, the anaesthetist, hurried into the room.
‘I’m such a wimp,’ she gasped, clutching Luca and pushing away the gas and air. ‘Why do women ever want natural births?’
She’d never known such agony.
‘Labour is never the same for two people,’ Polly reminded her gently, rubbing her back to try and help relax her. ‘I’ve seen women deliver in hours and barely notice, and so have you. It isn’t a competition, Tia. You just have to do what’s right for you.’
