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Katie flinched. ‘None.’ Anger mingled with the frustration. ‘None at all. I can see that now.’
‘Don’t sulk.’ He strolled towards her, his mouth flickering into that familiar slanting smile that made her dizzy. ‘Tonight we’re going to party.’
Her heart thudded, a slow unfamiliar beat in her chest. The anger glowed and burned. ‘You can party. If how you feel is none of my business, then there’s nothing more to be said.’
Bold dark brows met in a frown. ‘Katie—’
‘No.’ She held up her hand. ‘I don’t want a relationship that’s just about parties and glitter. I want a proper relationship, and if that means dealing with hard stuff, that’s OK. I’m used to dealing with hard stuff. What I can’t deal with is secrets. My dad had a whole secret life going on and I don’t want to live like that. I won’t live like that.’ Outside the room she could hear laughter and cheers, but inside the room there was silence as Katie was forced to accept that he didn’t actually care how she was feeling.
Nathaniel inhaled deeply. ‘Katie Field …’ A strange smile played around his mouth. ‘Are you dumping me?’
‘No. You’re the one dumping me.’ The anger burning red-hot, she stooped and picked up her bag. ‘Face it, Nathaniel, you don’t want a relationship. A relationship is about sharing—sharing the highs and the lows. And not just yours—everything isn’t about you.’ She swallowed. ‘I came in here to tell you my news … I was excited—’
‘You have something to celebrate?’ He reached for another bottle of champagne and Katie felt her frustration boil over.
‘Don’t you think you’ve had enough?’
‘I don’t think so. In fact, I don’t think I’ve had anywhere near enough.’ He lifted the bottle and popped the cork. Foam spilled over his hand and dripped onto the floor.
Katie had never felt less like celebrating in her life. She felt cold. Terribly cold.
‘You need to speak to Jacob,’ she said. ‘He’s trying to make amends. That’s obvious from the fact he keeps contacting you. You need to stop running. Be brave.’
‘Brave?’ His laugh was mocking. ‘I’m Alpha Man and I have the Sapphire to prove it.’
Sadness spread like dark clouds, blotting out the final rays of happiness. ‘That Sapphire just proves you’re a brilliant actor. But I’ve always known that.
You’ve been the actor, Nathaniel. Now you need to be the man.’
‘You want me to prove I’m a man?’
‘No.’ Ignoring his slow, suggestive smile, Katie straightened her shoulders and held his gaze. ‘Everyone thinks you’re exactly like your character in Alpha Man, but you’re not because he wasn’t afraid to face his fears. You run from yours.’ The dangerous glitter in his eyes made her wonder whether she should turn and run herself. Fast. ‘I’m not talking about the physical stuff—you do all that easily because you’re not afraid to take physical risks. I’m talking about the emotional stuff. That makes you feel vulnerable and you won’t allow yourself to be vulnerable. You won’t allow yourself to take emotional risks. Have you ever asked yourself why you take back-to-back roles with no break in between? It’s because you don’t want to leave a single chink in your schedule where you might actually have to be yourself. You don’t even know who you really are because you’ve been hiding and running for so long. You won’t go home because it reminds you of your past.’ She discovered that her hands and knees were shaking. ‘You avoid your family ….’
His face lost its colour. ‘My relationship with my family is none of your business.’
‘You seem to think you’re the only person in the world with a messy, difficult family, but you’re not! Mine isn’t exactly a picnic. We have our fair share of skeletons. I don’t care. But I wanted to help you. I still want that. I love you …’ She said the words without shame or hesitation. ‘And I know that terrifies you but it’s the truth. And when I think about what you lived through as a child it makes me boiling mad, Nathaniel, but what makes me even madder is that you’re not prepared to face it and deal with it.’
A cynical gleam lit his eyes. ‘And I thought you were such a sweet, sunny little thing. Clearly I had you all wrong.’
‘Do you want to know what makes me most angry?’
‘No—’ he was icily polite ‘—but I’m sure you’re about to tell me.’
‘What makes me most angry is that you’re prepared to destroy what we have because you’re too cowardly to take a risk with your feelings. I know they hurt you, Nathaniel. Your father, Jacob—they all abandoned you. But are you really going to let the past dictate the way you live your life in the future? Before you can go forward, you have to go back. You have to talk to Jacob. You have to accept what happened and live with it, not just keep switching your phone off. You have to be who you really are.’
There was a long, pulsing silence. He watched her, his face inscrutable. ‘Are you finished?’
Katie felt her heart crack in two. Hope drained away. The future, which a few hours earlier had seemed so bright, now seemed dark and empty. What they had was special. She knew that. Why wouldn’t he fight for it? Why was he just giving up? Caught in a whirl of despair, misery and exasperation, she allowed herself a final long indulgent look at his face. Memories, she thought. That was all she was going to be left with. Desperately she imprinted images in her brain—the brilliant blue eyes, their astonishing colour intensified by the jet of his eyelashes and bold brows; the straight line of his nose and the slow curve of his sensual mouth. But the image that was going to stay with her for ever wasn’t the movie star collecting his Sapphire, it was the man teaching disadvantaged children how to act. The man delving deep inside himself to help a vulnerable child.
Dredging up willpower she hadn’t known she possessed, Katie lifted her chin. ‘Yes—’ her voice was shaky and sad ‘—I’m finished. And so are we.’
Feeling as though someone had gouged out her insides with a blunt instrument, she turned and stumbled through the door. Her vision swam and she narrowly avoided crashing into a group of people who were laughing together.
Blind, she kept ploughing forward until she ran smack into one of Nathaniel’s security team.
‘I’m not feeling well,’ she choked. ‘Mr Wolfe would like you to take me back to the apartment and then to the airport.’
She still had a credit card, didn’t she? The fact that she’d never be able to pay it off was irrelevant. She’d book herself on the first flight into Heathrow and go home. She wasn’t naïve enough to think that the Howard Kenningtons of this world would be interested in her if she wasn’t with Nathaniel. It was all about who you know, wasn’t it? Contacts.
