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‘No.’
Wound tight, Izzy exploded. ‘Now you’re the one being selfish. Eventually you’re going to stomp on my heart and I’d rather get it over with now. I’m no good with suspense.’
He gave a ragged laugh and closed his hands over her arms. ‘You’re right that I’m selfish and there’s no way I’m giving you up.’
Izzy glared through her tears. ‘I just—’
‘Ever.’
The word penetrated her numbed brain. ‘Ever?’
‘I love you too. You have no idea how much.’ The confession was delivered with so much sincerity that she couldn’t breathe.
‘You’re right,’ Izzy said faintly, ‘I have no idea. Just how much exactly?’
‘More than is comfortable.’ With a groan, he wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly. ‘There is just no way I’m letting you go. From now on my Goal of Every Day is to make you happy.’
Trapped against his chest, Izzy didn’t move. He loved her?
Happiness soared like a bird taking its first flight and then plummeted back to earth.
‘Even if you do,’ she mumbled, ‘it’s no good.’
‘What is no good?’ He eased her away from him. ‘Don’t even think of arguing.’
‘I’d ruin everything for you. I’m already ruining things for you. Did you think I didn’t see the headlines this morning? Prince and the Popstar?’ The tears were falling now, brimming up in her eyes and flowing down her cheeks because however hard it had seemed before it was even worse now she knew he loved her. ‘They’re saying that I’m using you to further my career. In fact, they’re saying a lot worse than that, but never mind—the point is that I’m a tabloid journalist’s idea of fast food.’
His eyes gleamed. ‘We do a great burger and fries at the palace.’
She turned scarlet at the reminder of her episode with the microphone. ‘You see? That’s just another example of how I’ll embarrass you. I’m a quick, cheap story because no matter what I’m doing I’m probably doing it wrong. Saying the wrong thing, doing the wrong thing—’ her voice hitched ‘—and you don’t need that sort of person by your side. You need someone like Katarina whatsername, the perfect society girl you were with before, who is never going to put her elegant foot in anything grimy. My foot is permanently in a cow pat.’
He raised an eyebrow. ‘You could try keeping your shoes on.’
‘How can you make a joke?’ She thumped his chest. ‘Let me finish because I have to say this and then I’m going. When I first met you I thought you were cold, arrogant and unfeeling. I thought you were a raging snob, if I’m honest. But then I saw everything that you do and I started to understand. I saw that the reason your reputation matters to you is not because you think you’re better than anyone else, but because you’ve realised just how much influence you have and you use that influence to do good. You took all those vile experiences you had when people only wanted you because you were a prince and instead of becoming twisted and cynical, you turned it into a positive.’
Matteo muttered something in Italian. ‘Izzy, I am cynical. Maybe not twisted, but definitely cynical. At least, I was until I met you.’
‘And then you met me and now you’re twisted too?’ Her laugh bordered on the hysterical and he took her face in his hands and forced her to look at him.
‘I’m not surprised that when you met me you thought I was a raging snob. I behaved appallingly towards you, and yes, I judged on appearances and every time you sing that song it shames me because it reminds me of how shallow I was.’
‘I was the one who behaved appallingly.’ Izzy groaned. ‘And that’s what I’m trying to say to you. No matter how hard I try, I’m always going to mess up. Even when I make an effort I have a talent for doing the wrong thing and then thinking about it afterwards. It seemed like a perfec
tly sensible idea to sing at the engagement until I thought about it afterwards. Even swimming in your fountain felt logical—’
‘I’ve discovered that I love swimming in my fountain.’
Tears slid down her cheeks. ‘Don’t do this. Just … don’t. For the first time in my life I’m being unselfish!’
‘Per meraviligia, don’t cry,’ he breathed. ‘I never want to see you cry. How is it unselfish to walk out on me?’
‘Because if we stay together the press coverage won’t be good. It won’t be all about the good work you do. It will be about my stupid dress sense or other equally irrelevant facts. And people will lose respect for you and then they won’t trust you with their money. And you help so many people …’ She felt him brush away her tears with his thumb. ‘I’m walking away and protecting your reputation.’
‘Do you honestly think I’m going to let you do that after what we’ve shared? You think I’m unselfish but the truth is I’ve channelled my energies into helping other people to fill the hours of my empty life.’ His voice was harsh. ‘After what happened I could never allow myself to get close to anyone. I’ve had plenty of relationships but I’ve only ever known intimacy with one woman. You. I never thought that could happen. And yes, I’ve fought against it because frankly it scared the hell out of me. I never thought I would share my life with anyone but then I met you.’
‘Me.’ Her heart bumped hard. ‘Izzy Jackson. A national joke.’
‘Izzy Jackson, the bravest, boldest, most hardworking woman I’ve ever met. I predict that you will soon be a national inspiration and the people of Santina will love you as much as I do.’ He brushed the tears from her eyes with a gentle hand and she sniffed.
