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“Of course.” Because if she wasn’t a doctor, who was she? Katie stared at the paperweight on the doctor’s desk. “I’ve never felt like this before. I’m worried that I’m going to unravel and it’s not going to be pretty.”

“And what would happen if you did ‘unravel’? Why would that matter?”

“Because people rely on me.” She thought about her mother, and all the worry she’d had with Rosie. She’d be appalled if she knew how bad her elder daughter was feeling. “I don’t want anyone to worry about me. I’ve got this. I need—” She slumped in her chair. “I don’t know what I need. I don’t suppose you have a magic potion?”

Dr. Braithwaite was thoughtful. “You didn’t take a single day off after what happened?”

“I took a couple of hours while I was being stitched up, and I’ve had a couple of physio appointments since then which don’t seem to make a difference. I had to talk to the police of course, but other than that, no.” Katie shook her head. “I’m better keeping busy.”

“Maybe not.” Dr. Braithwaite reached for a notepad. “Are you working over Christmas?”

“No, I’m off from tomorrow and back to work on New Year’s Eve.”

“You won’t be working New Year’s Eve. I’m signing you off until the middle of January. That gives you a month.”

Katie sat up with a gasp. “You—a month? I can’t be away from work for a month. Even taking an hour out for this appointment has created extra work for my colleagues. We’re already stretched to the breaking point in the department, and winter is coming, and—”

“Dr. White—Katie—” Her voice gentled. “Have you heard the phrase physician, heal thyself?”

“Yes, but there’s nothing wrong with me. My shoulder has healed perfectly well and so has my head.” Apart from the constant throbbing, and the nightmares.

“Those aren’t the injuries that concern me.” The doctor scribbled something. “I’d like you to talk to one of my colleagues. A psychologist who specializes in dealing with traumatic events. She’s very good at what she does.”

“I don’t want to spend my time talking about something I want to forget.”

“That’s your decision, but I’m giving you her number anyway and I suggest you call her.” Dr. Braithwaite tore the paper from the pad and handed it over. Then she tapped some keys on the computer and printed out a prescription. “I’m giving you a short course of antidepressants. I think they may help you handle this acute phase. Come back to me in the middle of January and we’ll talk again.”

Katie took the prescription, even though she knew it was going straight into a drawer. She didn’t know what she needed, but she was pretty sure it wasn’t antidepressants. “Thanks.”

Dr. Braithwaite put her pen down. “Are you going away over Christmas? In my opinion you need a complete break, away from London. Time to recharge.”

“As it happens I’m going to Colorado. I need to—” She almost said stop my sister getting married, and then realized how that would sound to someone who didn’t know her. It had sounded bad enough to Vicky who did know her. “My sister is getting married and I need to be there to support her.” She expected the doctor to smile and say all the usual things about how exciting and what fun.

She didn’t.

“So you’ll be focusing on her, and her needs and your days will be busy again. I want you to focus on your own needs for once, Katie. You need time to think.”

She didn’t want time to think. “You want me to tell my little sister I can’t go to her wedding?”

“No, but I want you to carve out some time for yourself. On reflection, maybe the Rockies in winter is exactly what you need.” Dr. Braithwaite tapped her fingers on the desk as she studied Katie. “Mountains. Snow. Fresh air. It might be good for you.”

Katie wasn’t convinced. Having made a fool of herself and howled in front of Dr. Braithwaite who was a total stranger, how was she going to hold it together with her family?

Her mother would notice right away that something was wrong, which was why Katie had been avoiding her. Fortunately, she hadn’t been able to book the same flight as them, so she was traveling separately a day later. She felt guilty about that, too, because her mother wasn’t so much a nervous flyer as a terrified flyer and Katie probably should have been there to help, but it wasn’t her fault that there were no seats.

She had a long flight to pull herself together and produce a convincing act.

And maybe she did need to give some thought to her own approach to life. Maybe it was okay to fail in some circumstances, but not this circumstance.

She had a family to fool and a wedding to stop.

Rosie

Rosie stood in the arrivals hall of the airport, craning her neck to see her parents.

Dan stood behind her and wrapped his arms around her to stop her being jostled by the crowd. “Do you know that you always bite your lip when you’re nervous or excited?”

“I do not bite my lip.” She stopped biting her lip.

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