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‘That’s true. But the patients are not your whole life. What about me?’ Her voice was soft. ‘Didn’t our marriage deserve the same attention?’
His broad shoulders tensed. ‘We’re going to talk about this now? All right, let’s talk about this now.’ His eyes narrowed and his fingers tightened around the glass. ‘We both had busy lives—’
‘With no time for each other.’ She folded her hands in her lap and looked him in the eye, determined to have her say. Determined not to let him intimidate her. ‘Do you know how many times I scraped your dinner into the bin during the twelve years of our marriage, Alessandro?’
‘My working hours are unpredictable, it’s true, but—’
‘How many times did we sit down together and talk during the week?’
‘At the dinner table, rarely,’ he admitted, ‘but always we were in the same bed at night.’
The remark was so typical of him that she gave a wry smile. ‘That’s just sex, Alessandro.’
One ebony brow swooped upwards in silent mockery. ‘Just sex, querida?’
Her stomach rolled and fire licked through her veins. She wasn’t going to think about sex now, she told herself frantically. She wasn’t going to remember what it was like to be in bed with Alessandro. He was a spectacular lover.
‘A relationship takes more than an encounter in the bedroom to keep it alive,’ she said huskily, and he studied her in brooding silence.
‘And that’s why you left? You felt neglected? I didn’t ask you about your day often enough?’
‘I don’t think you ever asked me about my day. You’re a great father, a skilled and talented doctor, a fantastic climber…’ She swallowed. ‘But—’
‘But I’ve been a lousy husband,’ Alessandro drawled softly, and she shook her head quickly.
‘Not lousy, no.’ She gripped her glass. ‘But you’re so driven, so focused on what you do and… I suppose I feel as though you don’t notice me any more.’
She wanted to ask about Katya. Wanted to know whether he’d had an affair during the weeks that they’d been apart. But something held her back. He wouldn’t do that, she told herself. Alessandro wouldn’t do that.
‘How long have you hated being a practice nurse?’
She looked at him, surprised by the question. ‘I don’t hate it.’ She hesitated. ‘But I suppose part of me is always frustrated. I miss the pace and unpredictability of A and E. You know what it’s like—sort of an addiction.’
He gave a wry smile. ‘You get high on the adrenaline rush of not knowing what’s coming through the door next?’
She returned the smile. ‘Yes, in a way. In general practice it’s all so much more predictable and routine. And a bit lonely. I was shut in a room all day, seeing an endless stream of patients. We have practice meetings, of course, and I speak to the GPs about various patients, but I miss the teamwo
rk of A and E.’
Alessandro sat back in his chair as the waiter delivered plates of food to their table. ‘So why have you stuck at it for so long?’
‘Because it fits with school hours,’ Christy said slowly, leaning forward to examine the various dishes he’d ordered. ‘It’s convenient for family life. But the children are older now…’
Should she tell him that she didn’t think that she could go back? Should she tell him that, after experiencing the buzz of A and E again, she was starting to rethink her whole life?
‘Why did you never tell me any of this before?’
She shrugged. ‘What was the point? One of us had to be there for the children and that wasn’t going to be you—you’re not that sort of man. I knew that when I married you and that was fine. And, anyway, you had a great career. And I suppose I’ve never told you any of this before because…’ She broke off, suddenly hesitant. ‘Well, because you’ve never asked.’
‘Perhaps because I assumed that if there was a problem you would tell me.’ He frowned. ‘I’m not great at guessing games and reading minds. That’s more Jake’s forte.’
‘Jake. He’s such a good person, isn’t he?’ Christy smiled to herself and missed the dangerous flash in Alessandro’s eyes. ‘I can’t believe we’ve been friends for such a long time. And I can’t understand why he hasn’t settled down with some very lucky woman long before now.’ She heard Alessandro’s sharp intake of breath and glanced up.
‘Perhaps he wants someone who is unavailable,’ he snapped. His tone was icy cold and she looked at him, surprised by the comment.
‘Oh, no! Jake isn’t like that. He’d never go after a married woman.’
‘But if she wasn’t married any more, she’d be fair game,’ Alessandro said tightly. ‘Isn’t that right?’
