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Why couldn’t she look at him and feel nothing?
How did you stifle a love as powerful as hers?
How did you carry on with life?
‘Has Father Christmas been coming down my chimney without wiping his feet again?’ Alessandro glowered at the footprint and Ben giggled.
‘Do you think he brought the reindeer?’
Alessandro raised an eyebrow. ‘Into my living room? I hope not.’
‘Come on, Ben.’ Determined not to dwell on Alessandro, she turned back to the children. ‘What has he brought you?’
Christmas Day had begun. They opened the presents in their stockings, ate breakfast together and then went to the carol service at the local church.
Wrapped up warmly in a long coat, Christy listened to the pure voices of the choirboys and felt a lump in her throat.
It was normally her favourite part of Christmas but today it just seemed to make her feel even sadder.
‘Hey.’ A masculine voice came from behind her. ‘I hope my lunch isn’t burning while you’re here.’
It was Jake.
Having him for the day would be a welcome distraction, she thought to herself as she turned to acknowledge his presence with a quick smile.
‘Come on, Mum.’ Katy grabbed her hand as they arrived back at the barn to the delicious smells of turkey. ‘Time for all the other presents now.’
Her parents arrived moments later and suddenly the house took on the chaotic, crazy feel that only ever happened at Christmas.
‘I have to go and spend some time in the kitchen,’ Christy began, but Katy shook her head.
‘It can wait. It doesn’t matter if lunch is late. We can always eat crisps to keep us going.’
‘You cannot eat crisps!’
Katy grinned. ‘Just winding you up, Mum.’
Christy gave a weak smile and followed her daughter through to the living room.
Jake and Alessandro were talking by the fireplace and Katy dropped to her knees and dragged the presents out from under the tree.
‘This one is for Daddy, from Grandma…’
Christy watched as everyone opened presents and tried not to mind that Alessandro didn’t seem to have bought her anything.
Why would he? She was only here under sufferance. Because he wanted Christmas with his children, and she came as part of the package.
Eventually the pressure grew too much and she retired to the kitchen.
It was all right, she told herself firmly as she checked the roast potatoes and stirred the cranberry sauce. She’d cope. Whatever happened, she’d cope.
She was concentrating so hard on not breaking down that she didn’t hear the kitchen door open and close. She wasn’t aware of another person in the room until she heard Alessandro’s deep, dark drawl from directly behind her.
‘There are things that I have to say,’ he said tightly, ‘and you’re not going to like them. But I’m going to say them anyway.’
Oh, dear God, not now, she thought. She had to produce Christmas dinner for seven people and she couldn’t do that if he’d just told her that he didn’t love her any more and that he wanted her to go back to London. Knowing that it was the truth was quite different from hearing it.
‘We can talk later, Alessandro,’ she said quickly, sticking her face in the oven to check the turkey and resisting the temptation to leave it there. ‘This probably isn’t the best time.’
