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“
You could come with me when I leave.” She’d been thinking about it, trying to find solutions.
“And do what?” He lay still. “I sail boats. There’s not a lot of call for that in a city.”
“You’d hate living in a city. Forget it, it wouldn’t work.” But what would? It made her brain ache, trying to find a solution. No matter how many different ways she tried to assemble the pieces of the puzzle, they didn’t fit. “I could come with you. We could live on a boat.”
“I don’t own a boat, Laurie. I sail other people’s boats. I fix other people’s boats.”
“But Joshua says you’re the best he has ever had working for him in the boatyard. He says you have a feel for the sea, and a feel for wood. He has more than enough work for you. You don’t have to leave.” She was desperate to convince him.
“I can’t stay in one place.” He let go of her and sat up, his jaw tense as he stared out to sea. “I have to keep moving.”
“Why? Because that’s what you’ve done before? Maybe it’s time to change that.” She was so desperate she decided to be bold. “I know it happened to you over and over again when you were growing up. I know they moved you from foster home to foster home, often with no warning—”
“Laurie—”
“And I know you hate talking about it,” she plowed on, “but now you’re doing the same thing to yourself! You don’t have to move, Scott. You could stay. You could settle.”
“You need to stop this.” He sounded tired. “You need to stop planning a future.”
“Just because you didn’t ever dare plan a future when you were growing up doesn’t mean you can’t now.”
“Things change, Laurie.”
She wasn’t sure what he meant by that. “I’m not going to change. My feelings for you won’t change.”
“Things happen that are outside your control.”
“But we have control over this. Us. We’ll find a way.” When he didn’t even look at her she felt a rush of despair. “I know you don’t trust anyone, but I’m not anyone.” He was like a stray dog, she thought, afraid to approach any human.
“What you need is to go to college, then get a fancy job in Manhattan and date smart guys who are lawyers or doctors.”
“Just because a guy isn’t a lawyer or a doctor doesn’t mean he isn’t smart.”
“You’re so young, Laurie.”
“I am not!” She felt him slipping away from her. She felt as if she was losing him and the one thing she did know was that she didn’t want that. What she wanted was love, and she knew she’d never find another love like this. She leaned forward and kissed his jaw, feeling the roughness of stubble beneath her lips. “You’re the first man I’ve ever loved.”
“I’m the first man you’ve had sex with.” His voice was rough and she knew he was thinking about it.
She thought about it all the time. His hands. His mouth. “That has nothing to do with my feelings.”
“Are you sure? Sex has a powerful effect on some people.”
“Until I met you, I never wanted to have sex. You know why.” And it still surprised her that she’d felt able to tell him so much. He was the only person she’d ever told.
She’d been attracted to his strength and quiet confidence.
She knew some people on the island were wary of him, but with her he’d been gentle and patient.
He understood her. He listened. He cared. She felt closer to him than anyone in her family, even her sister. She trusted him completely.
The fact that their relationship was private made it all the more intense and personal. She shared him with no one.
Sometimes she passed him during the day when she was rushing to and from her job at the beach café. Her gaze would meet his and it took all her effort not to race across and hurl herself into his arms.
The only thing stopping her was the knowledge that they’d be together later. She met him every evening, after dark on a private stretch of sand that belonged to a beach house that was unoccupied. They had a place at the far end of the beach, tucked between the dunes, where other people rarely went.
