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‘She talked to the papers—’
‘They all talk to the papers,’ Rafael said, not even bothering to keep the bitterness out of his tone. ‘It’s another lucrative source of income for my ex-girlfriends and my ex-wife. I suppose you could call it lateral thinking. Once they’ve finished fleecing me in person, they carry on milking the relationship in print.’
There was a moment of silence and then she put her fork down, apparently giving up on her food. ‘Well—’ her tone was deceptively light ‘—your ex-wife sounds like a very special person. Perhaps we should introduce her to my father. At least they’d understand each other. But that was just one relationship, Rafael. Haven’t you ever been tempted to try again?’
‘Marriage, no. Sex—’ he raised his glass towards her ‘—yes. Quite frequently actually.’
She blushed sweetly. ‘Well, I know that you’ve been very busy in that department, according to the papers, anyway. But I wasn’t really talking about sex or marriage. I was talking about love.’
‘Don’t talk to me about love, Grace. Don’t ever talk to me about love.’ He watched her flinch. ‘All relationships are based on mutual greed. One person has what another person wants.’
‘Not everyone is like your ex-wife.’
‘The world is full of people like my ex-wife.’
‘Do you truly believe that?’ Her voice was suddenly spirited and her eyes flashed with something that came close to annoyance.
‘You’re an incredibly intelligent man. Are you really going to let a few greedy girlfriends ruin your view of women?’ Not just a few greedy girlfriends.
Something dark and uncomfortable churned inside him and he tensed as he was forced to contemplate the murky depths of his soul that he so rigorously ignored.
Finding himself on the receiving end of her faintly accusing blue gaze, he was suddenly tempted to reveal all those things about himself that he kept hidden, just to reinstate himself in her good books. Shaken by the powerful and uncharacteristic urge to confide when confiding was as alien to him as running a business by consensus, he clamped his mouth shut.
And why did he care what she thought of him when the good opinion of others was a matter of complete indifference to him?
He suddenly realised that she was staring at him again and something powerful throbbed between them. Refusing to be drawn into something more than physical intimacy, he gave a faint smile.
‘What was the questio
n again? Am I going to let a few greedy girlfriends affect my view of the whole human race? The answer is yes, Grace.’ He raised his glass in her direction, unable to keep the mockery out of his gaze. ‘I think I probably am. And don’t feel sorry for me because I’m as bad as they are. I keep women around for as long as they’re useful to me. Perhaps you’d better remember that and run while you can.’
Her lips parted and he saw her breathing quicken. ‘I’m not running anywhere. And I think you’re completely wrong about who you are. There’s so much more to you than that.’
She was such a ridiculous optimist, he thought savagely, and it was no wonder she’d been so hurt in her life when she laboured so hard to find good in people.
‘No, Grace, there isn’t. Why do you think I choose to spend a large amount of my time in the rainforest?’
‘Well it’s very beautiful and if I had a place like this I’d never go near a city—’ She broke off and sighed. ‘I’m trying to understand you …’
And she would try, of course, because Grace Thacker was a woman who had to get under everyone’s skin. ‘I don’t require you to understand me. I thought I’d made that clear.’
‘But I do understand, well, part of it, at least. You’ve never met anyone who just wanted you for yourself. For who you are. And I know the feeling because I haven’t either. Not that I exactly worry about someone wanting me for my money.’ she let out a long breath and smiled. ‘I suppose it’s easier for me.’
‘It’s easy for me too,’ he said softly, watching her face. ‘I just set my expectations accordingly. And you need to do the same. Just use people for what they can give you.’
She hesitated for a moment and then she straightened her shoulders. ‘I can’t do that. No matter what happens in life, you can’t really change the person you are, can you? All my life I’ve wanted to be loved the way I am. All my life I struggled to please people—my teachers, my father—but it never worked. I’ve just disappointed people. They get impatient and frustrated with me. Do you want to know something funny?’
Hating the thought that they’d all made her life so unhappy and finding the whole conversation just about as far from amusing as it was possible to get, Rafael frowned. ‘What?’
‘You think you’re such a hard, bad person but you’re the first and only person who has ever taken the time to go through numbers with me without getting horribly impatient. You spent a whole afternoon teaching maths to someone who just doesn’t get it and not once did you drum your fingers on the table, glare at me or tug at your hair. So stop pretending that you’re just this cold, ruthless money-making machine.’
Startled by her interpretation of his actions, Rafael thought for a moment. ‘I need you to understand the figures. It’s the only way you’ll be able to have a conversation with your father.’
‘Right. Well, you did it in a very nice way, so thank you. You’re a good and patient teacher.’
A good and patient teacher? Wondering what his staff would make of that entirely inaccurate assessment of his qualities, Rafael ran a hand over the back of his neck, suddenly determined to make sure that she knew exactly who she was. ‘You’re making a mistake, Grace. I am a cold, ruthless money-making machine.’
‘No. You’re nothing like that. You have great humanity but you don’t even recognise it yourself any more, because you’ve spent your life with people attached to you like leeches, wanting something from you.’
