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‘Really?’ Jed lifted an eyebrow as he lowered Toby, still keeping hold of his hand. ‘Great! Where is he?’
‘In bed,’ his mother replied dryly, lifting a whistling kettle off the Aga and filling up a teapot. ‘You know your brother. He lives life in the fast lane.’
‘Somebody has to,’ came a sleepy drawl from behind them, and a more boyish version of Jed strolled into the room. ‘Is that my big brother I hear?’
The two brothers greeted each other warmly, and before she knew what was happening Brooke found herself seated at the table, nursing a cup of tea, while cheerful banter swirled around the room.
She watched as Mrs Matthews plied them with food and joined in the conversation, fielding dogs and phone calls as she did so. This was the family life that she’d dreamed of when she’d been little. This was what she’d read about in books but never actually seen.
Watching the two brothers tease their mother unmercifully, she felt a lump in her throat. Having a loving family, that was the best thing that could happen to anyone. Better than anything else that life could give you.
She sneaked a look at Jed’s mother, noticing the pride and love in her eyes as she laughed with her sons, noticing the caring way she welcomed Toby and produced food and drink as if it was a great pleasure. There was no sign of impatience. No suggestion that this woman would rather be doing anything but looking after her family.
Just watching them made Brooke feel like an outsider. She’d never been part of a family like this one, where everyone was loved and made to feel as though they were important. What would it be like to have someone actually caring what sort of day you’d had? What was it like to have someone tease you out of love and affection and to laugh with you? There had rarely been any laughter in her house.
Swallowing hard, she caught Jed’s mother watching her keenly and looked away awkwardly. If she could just get through the next few hours she could fall apart in the privacy of her own home.
‘Can I, Mum?’
She blinked and realised that Toby had been talking to her. ‘Can you what, sweetheart?’
‘Can I go and see the pony with Jed’s mummy?’
Brooke smiled. ‘Of course you can. But be careful.’
She stood up to help Toby put on his coat, her long dark hair trailing over her slim shoulders. Watching them go out into the yard, she was suddenly aware of Tom’s curious gaze.
‘Dammit, Jed.’ He frowned at her and then glanced from her to his brother.
‘Language, Tom,’ his brother reproved mildly, but Tom ignored him, his eyes fixed on Brooke, who shifted uncomfortably. Why was he staring?
‘Jed?’ Tom was looking at his brother now and Jed sighed.
‘Drop it, Tom.’
Brooke swallowed, brushing her hair away from her face self-consciously. Drop what? And then she remembered. Tom had known about that night. But surely he wouldn’t know it was her?
‘Dark and delicate with legs like a gazelle,’ Tom recited, and Jed gave him a look which made his younger brother subside. ‘Sorry—still tired after last night. Don’t know what I’m saying.’
Brooke stared at them both and suddenly had to get away. It was all too much, first being in the spotlight and then all the family togetherness. It just reminded her too much of what she’d never had and never would have. And on top of that Tom had clearly guessed who she was.
‘I need some air.’ She reached for her coat and gave them something approaching a smile. ‘I’ll be back later. Enjoy your chat.’
Without giving them time to respond, she tugged open the door and walked quickly across the yard in the opposite direction to her son. The path led her past two fields where cows grazed to a wide stream. Finding a flat rock, she sat down and hugged her knees, staring at the water as it flew past, twigs and leaves twirling in the current. That was how she felt, she thought miserably. She was just dragged along by the current of life, with no real security.
‘I’m sorry about Tom.’ Jed’s deep voice made her jump but she didn’t turn round. No way was she going to let him see her crying again.
‘It doesn’t matter.’ She picked up a twig and tossed it into the stream, watching as it spun round and raced after the others.
‘I told him about you all those years ago because he was my only hope of finding you. To be honest, I’m amazed he remembered. I’m sorry he was so tactless.’ Jed squatted down next to her and turned her face towards him, cursing softly as he saw the tears. ‘Sweetheart, I’m sorry. Please, don’t cry.’
She shook her head. ‘I’m not crying because of Tom.’
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He frowned. ‘What, then? Tell me, Brooke.’
She jerked her face away from him and stared back at the stream. ‘It’s nothing important. Really.’
