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‘How?’ The harshness of his tone made her flinch and she wondered if he even realised that his fingers were digging into her flesh.
‘I would have asked you,’ she said softly. ‘And you would have listened.’
And she knew it was true. Yes, he was strong—so much stronger than her that any comparison would have been ridiculous. But she knew he would have stopped if she’d said the word
. His grip on her arms eased. ‘I wouldn’t be so sure about that.’
He was trying to make her feel better—trying to erase the terrible guilt—but she knew that nothing would do that. She’d carry the betrayal with her for ever.
‘We won’t mention it again.’ Jessie stared at a point in the middle of his chest, afraid that if she met his eyes she’d be lured into the same intoxicating paradise from which she’d just escaped.
‘You think that’s it?’
‘Yes, that’s it.’ Blanking the expression from her eyes, she looked at him. ‘Perhaps you’re right, Silvio. Perhaps this thing has been simmering between us for a long time. In which case it’s a good thing that we’ve got it out of the way. We can put it behind us now.’
His hands tightened again. ‘That’s a very casual response from a woman who has just had her first sexual experience.’
‘You’re not my first.’ Desperate now, she selected the words that she knew would drive him away. ‘Which is probably just as well or you would have put me off. Your caveman approach to love-making wouldn’t be the best introduction to the pleasures of the bedroom. Generally I prefer more in the way of foreplay.’ It was a lie, but she must have sounded convincing because his hands dropped from her shoulders.
‘I did hurt you.’
‘Yes, you did.’ She forced the second lie past her lips, wondering why it felt so hard. She shouldn’t care about his feelings, should she? ‘Physically we’re obviously not that compatible.’
‘You’re very small—’
‘And you’re very rough.’ Yet another lie. He hadn’t been rough. True, he hadn’t been as careful with her as he would have been if she’d told him the truth, but that was her fault, wasn’t it? ‘Probably not a good combination. Still, at least we got it out of our systems.’ Jessie turned away, her legs shaking and a sick feeling in her stomach.
It felt wrong to dismiss the incredible intimacy they’d shared with such careless words but it was the only way she knew that might prevent him from touching her again. And it was imperative that he didn’t touch her again.
‘Go back to the master suite.’ He moved to let her past, his tone tightly controlled, his features revealing nothing. ‘Take a bath and get some sleep. I’ll sleep elsewhere.’
So he’d believed her, then.
She should have felt relief that her words had been so incredibly effective.
Instead, she felt sick. As if she’d destroyed something rare and special.
She’d insulted him in the most personal way possible and his Sicilian pride would never allow him to forgive that.
And that, Jessica thought numbly, was that. A few well-chosen words were all it took to kill off perfect chemistry.
The emotional barrier that had kept them apart had been strengthened and was now an immovable force.
Chapter Seven
DESPITE the stress, Jessie slept. But sleep gave her little respite because Silvio featured in every one of her dreams. Unfortunately for her mental state, her dreams had exaggerated him back into the shape of a hero.
He was the man who had rescued her from danger in the alleyway. He was the man who had brought her to safety. He was the man who had made sure that any physical relationship she ever had in the future would be an anticlimax…
With a groan she woke up and buried her face in the pillow.
He was also the man who was responsible for the death of her brother.
But suddenly everything that had been clear was confused.
Instead of blaming him, she was thinking about his hands on her body and his mouth on hers. Instead of hate she felt another, more dangerous emotion that she didn’t dare examine too closely.
And what was the point of thinking about it when it was over before it had started?
