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‘It isn’t about Kirsty.’
‘I can’t stay, Logan.’ Her voice was a whisper. ‘I have to go. I— It’s complicated.’
‘I’ve never minded complicated. Why do you have to go, Evanna?’
Their eyes held for a long moment and then she turned away and looked at the sea. ‘That doesn’t really matter.’
‘It matters to me.’
‘Why?’ She swallowed hard and concentrated on the antics of a seagull swooping down to snatch a tidbit from the water.
‘Because we have a relationship.’ He gave soft curse and she felt his hands on her arms, his grip firm and purposeful as he turned her towards him. ‘For goodness’ sake, look at me, Evanna! This conversation is hard enough without trying to talk to your back. I want to know why you feel you have to leave the island. You owe me an explanation. And I want the truth.’
Given no alternative, she lifted her eyes to his face. He looked rough and rugged, strands of dark hair flopping over his forehead, his blue eyes sharp and observant. She’d grown up looking at his face. Seen him grow from boy to man. ‘There’s nothing more I can tell you, Logan.’
‘No?’ His eyes were very blue. ‘You’re not going to tell me exactly how long you’ve been in love with me? How long, Evanna?’
Her heart tripped over and she stood still, aware of his gaze on her face. Above them a seagull shrieked, but neither of them noticed. ‘For ever.’ The word was barely audible so she cleared her throat and tried again. ‘For ever, Logan. I’ve been in love with you for ever. Girl, teenager and woman. There. You wanted the truth and now you have it.’ She waited to feel humiliation or embarrassment but instead all she felt was relief. Finally there was no longer any need to pretend.
His gaze didn’t flicker. ‘And you’re leaving because…?’
‘I’ve just told you why I’m leaving.’
‘No, you haven’t. You told me that you love me. Girl, teenager and woman. You haven’t told me why you’re leaving.’
‘How can you be so insensitive? I can’t be this close to you any more. It hurts too much. I want to find a family, a home, a man who loves me, and I’m never going to find those things while you’re in my line of vision because no one else exists for me.’
There was a long silence broken only by the distant rush of waves over rock. Then he let go of her arms and took her face in his hands. ‘Look at me. I want you to look at me.’
‘No.’ She closed her eyes. ‘This is so hard for me, Logan.’
‘Then let me make it easier. I want you looking at me when I tell you that I love you, too. I love you, Evanna.’ He stroked her face with his fingers and she opened her eyes.
‘What did you say?’
‘I love you. I should have told you the night we made love but you fell asleep and I had to get ba
ck to Kirsty. And then the next morning I was ready to tell you and you started talking about how much you wanted us to still be friends.’
She looked into his eyes, those lazy blue eyes that always made her weak at the knees. ‘We had sex, Logan. It wasn’t about love.’
‘Yes, it was. It was all about love.’ He gave a crooked smile and she felt suddenly peculiar. Her heart was hammering and her pulse was dancing. But she pushed down the little spurt of excitement.
‘You’ve known me all your life, Logan. I’m sure you do love me. Like a sister.’
‘Not like a sister.’ His gaze dropped to her mouth and lingered there. ‘Nothing like a sister.’
It was becoming hard to breathe. ‘I’ve been under your nose for ever.’
‘So maybe I’m just a bit slow.’ He stroked her hair away from her face with a gentle hand. ‘Or maybe, subconsciously, I always thought that you were out of bounds. You were my baby sister’s best friend. Then you were a colleague.’
‘You’ve kissed just about every girl on this island, Logan MacNeil. But you never kissed me until last Saturday.’
‘If I’d known how good it was going to be, I would have been kissing you in the playground, right under Ann Carne’s nose.’ He hesitated. ‘Perhaps I didn’t kiss you because you were the only one that mattered to me. Our relationship was too important to risk messing it all up.’
She couldn’t listen. She couldn’t allow herself to believe it. ‘Logan, you’ve had a terrible year, and—’
‘Stop.’ He covered her lips with his fingers. ‘If you’re going to suggest that this is rebound or therapy or anything like that, don’t waste your breath. What I feel for you is real, Evanna. And it’s for ever.’
