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I wanted to hate myself, hate the situation I’d put us both in, and I did. But at the same time, I didn’t.
Finally getting my breathing under control, I grabbed tissues from the nearby box and started cleaning up. With my penis still out, but soft, I stood and washed my hands before walking to the door and turning off the light, letting her know the room was vacant.
When she noticed the light, she seemed to sag against the bed and in those moments when I watched her—when she thought she was alone, I didn’t see the sexual woman who worked at Voyeur. I saw a tired college student. For the first time I noticed the dark circles under her eyes that not even makeup could cover.
It hit me like a punch to the gut. How tired she must be working three jobs and going to college. I watched her lay there, staring at the ceiling, sinking into the blankets before closing her eyes for a long blink. What was she thinking? Did she hate it? Did she hate the idea of someone in here gaining satisfaction as she shared parts of herself—gave parts of herself to others?
The questions churned in my stomach, and I quickly tucked my cock back in my pants, pulled my hat low and got the fuck out of there.
15
Oaklyn
“Are you heading out, Oaklyn?” Mr. Erikson asked me.
“Not quite yet. I’m going to swing by Dr. Pierce’s office and see if he needs anything from me before I go.”
“Okay. Thanks for all your help today.”
“No problem. I’m just lucky I’m not the one doing the lab this week. Looks brutal.”
We’d spent the afternoon setting up the physics lab for an advanced class this week. Just in case I wasn’t sure before that I was in the right program, writing up all the equations with weird symbols and prepping the materials, I was sure now. Physics was bananas.
“I’m sure you’d knock it out of the park,” Mr. Erikson said with a chuckle.
“I appreciate your confidence.”
“Any time. Have a good night, Oaklyn.”
I walked down the hall toward the main office and found Donna’s seat empty. Then I looked at the clock and saw it was already after six. I hadn’t realized it was so late. Hopefully Dr. Pierce hadn’t left either, otherwise I’d stayed for nothing. I headed toward his office and saw the light shining out from the half-open door.
I peeked in and found his dark head bent over his desk. He was writing on a paper with red pen, and I could only assume he was grading. Beside the paper he was working on, there was a perfectly placed stack of papers and another red pen sitting lined up with a blue one. I’d never known someone to be so anal about lining objects up. Sometimes I’d find him straightening Donna’s desk or moving an office supply less than a quarter of an inch to perfect it.
I rapped my knuckles on the door before entering. His head popped up, and I was met with his Clark Kent glasses. When he saw it was me, he smiled, and I felt my cheeks stretching in return. I couldn’t help it.
“Hey, Oaklyn. Come on in.”
“I was just stopping by to see if there was anything you needed help with,” I said, walking in and leaning on the back of a chair.
“Did Mr. Erikson finally let you free?”
“Yes, after torturing me for hours with the thought of being a physics major.” I placed my hand over my heart.
“Hey, now. It’s not too bad.”
“That lab looks like hell.”
“It is,” he agreed easily. “But it weeds out anyone not serious in the second year. Every program has a class or lesson that thins the herd.”
“Weaklings,” I said dramatically, making him laugh.
“Well, I’m about to finish up grading these papers and then I have to scan in the assignment for the next class. Then I should be done.”
“Can I help?” I offered, not quite wanting to leave. I liked his laugh, and I didn’t want to miss an opportunity to hear it. Besides, we’d formed a friendship over the last month. More than occasionally we’d eat lunch together, discussing our favorite superheroes and other silly topics. When I could afford it, I’d bake brownies for the office, but made sure to add nuts to at least half because I knew it was his favorite.
We were friends. I was a friend who probably watched his lips move too closely, but still a friend.
“Actually, yes, you can help. The papers I need to scan are on top of that bookshelf. If you get the ladder from down the hall, could you grab them for me?”
“I don’t need a ladder,” I said with exaggerated confidence. “I may only be five-five, but I make it work for me.” I scooted the chair over to the shelf and looked back before climbing on. “Besides, I’m way too lazy to have to go get a ladder and then take it back.”
