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My brows furrowed, and I had to look away because I hadn’t thought of what was next. I just thought about how I couldn’t lose her. But what happened next?
“Are you done hiding the fact that you watch me now?” Her voice was still soft but filled with sarcasm. “Why even bother going through the selection process? Just tell me to my face what you want me to do.”
“I wanted to talk.”
She ignored me and kept pushing, and I let her because she had every right to be pissed and take it out on me. “Do you want me naked or partially covered? Under the blankets? Alone? With a dildo or a vibrator? Or do you want me to get Jackson?” My jaw clenched. The more I got to know her, the more I hated watching her with him. “Do you want to see his head buried between my thighs? Do you want to watch me gag on his cock? How about watch as my breasts sway and he fucks me from behind.”
“Stop,” I choked out. “Please.”
She swallowed and dropped her eyes, but not before I saw the regret. Oaklyn wasn’t mean by nature. I could see she wasn’t happy at my pain. Same as I wasn’t happy with hers.
“Do you think I’m a whore?”
I reeled back at her whispered question. I almost didn’t hear it over the music with her face looking down.
I reached my hand out and linked my fingers with hers, needing to touch her. To connect with her so she could feel me. Feel my sincerity.
“You’re not supposed to touch us,” she said, but didn’t pull away. In fact, her fingers tightened, afraid I’d let go.
“Oaklyn. Look at me.” She looked up and barely met my eyes from under her lashes. “You are beautiful. Smart. You are tenacious and determined. I respect your drive and need to succeed. Not everyone is born with money, and I’m impressed with your ability to find a way to get what you need.”
“I have sex with people for money.”
“No. That’s not what Voyeur is, and you know it. You know, I know it. You’re not getting paid to fuck people. To let them use your body. You are not a whore.”
She nodded and dropped her eyes again. “Thank you.”
The soft skin at her wrist pulsed under my thumb. I had an idea to prove to her I didn’t think less of her. As much as I didn’t want to see her with Jackson, if she wanted to see what she did to me when I watched people, then I would bite the bullet.
“Do you trust me?” I asked.
“I shouldn’t after how much you’ve lied to me.”
“I know. I don’t have enough words to make you understand how sorry I am. And it’s not fair of me to ask if you can trust me again after keeping everything from you, but I am. I want you to trust me, so I can prove to you how sexy I find you.” I watched her throat move over a swallow and risked asking again. “Will you give me another chance and trust me?”
Her golden eyes assessed mine. It was one of the longest moments of my life, but she finally said, “Yes.”
The word swelled in my chest, expanding it to almost bursting. I didn’t deserve her trust after the way I’d kept watching her a secret, but it didn’t stop me from holding on with both hands. “Accept the request from client four-seven-two.”
She hesitated but nodded.
I brushed my body against hers when I walked past, heading to fill out my form.
Once I was done, I didn’t look to see if she was watching me. I went to the restroom to splash cold water on my face, calming the rush of adrenaline burning through me. I stared up at the blue eyes meeting mine in the mirror and almost didn’t recognize them. Almost didn’t recognize the flash of excitement I saw there. Voyeur satisfied a need inside me, but I’d never felt so much that I was on the edge of something more. That feeling was stolen from me before I’d even had a chance to know what it was. Now, it made me feel like a teenager going on my first date.
The band on my wrist vibrated, and I inhaled as deep as I could before heading down the hall to the room indicated, except this time I didn’t enter the private room. I walked into the main room and made my way to the overstuffed chair sitting in shadow in the alcove. It hid most of me, but she could still see parts of me in the shadows, and I wanted her to know how turned on I was by what she did.
The door clicked open and in came Oaklyn and Jackson, fumbling their hands over each other. Jackson kissed all down her neck walking her backwards. He kissed down her chest, back up to her cheeks, but never her lips. Per my request. Her lips were mine.
