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The fire behind her words, the depth of feeling sinking into me caused my eyes to burn, and I looked away, swallowing hard past the lump threatening to choke me before my final confession. “I’ve never really been able to be touched after that. I’ve touched women, kissed them, dated them, but they tend to want more. Who wouldn’t when they’re trying to build a future? But they eventually got fed up when I continued to put them off without an explanation and refused to let them touch me intimately.”
“Have you ever been . . .” Her words trailed off, but I knew what she was asking.
“Once.” I cringed remembering the night. “I was in college and got very drunk to help me follow through. I was shaking and sweating the whole time and she was too drunk to notice. I left immediately after. Never tried again.”
“What a horrible bitch.”
My lips somehow twitched at her anger on my behalf. I hadn’t thought I’d smile at all after I confessed my past.
A silence hung between us, and I didn’t know what else to say. I didn’t want to pressure her to say anything she wasn’t ready to discuss, so I decided to give her an out. Give her some space to think about it and an opportunity to have me leave without asking.
“Do you want me to go?”
“What? Callum, God no.” Her vehement denial made me jerk my head up to see her shocked expression. “If nothing else, you’re at least my friend. I would never . . .” She shook her head, not finishing the thought. “I care about you. I want you to stay.”
Wanted me to stay. She cared about me and wanted me to stay. The words were so simple and yet, they seeped in through my skin and began to fill some of the damaged holes inside of me. I’d told her about my past and she hadn’t doubted me, questioned me, or looked at me differently. I felt . . . Lighter. Oaklyn somehow filled me up, like I could possibly be whole someday. It was like she’d helped me set down some of the load I’d been carrying for so long. How could one girl do that?
I didn’t know, but I didn’t want it to stop either.
“Okay.”
“Okay.”
We stared at each other from either side of the couch, both unsure of what to do next. I missed the heat from earlier, and I wanted to put away my confession. It was said, it was out there, now I wanted to move on. “You can come closer, give me another chance to kiss you. I won’t break, Oaklyn.”
She smiled, and her eyes scanned me up and down with one eyebrow cocked. “I never thought I’d break you. There’s too much of you to even put a dent in.”
I exaggerated puffing my chest out and flexing, succeeding in making her laugh.
Still smiling, the wheels turned behind her eyes as she worked her lips between her teeth. I held her stare, watching a decision form across her face and her look to shift, to become heated. Making a point to keep her hands by her side or behind her, she inched her way across the space between us until she sat right in front of me.
“Will you tell me if I do something that bothers you? Anything at all.”
“Oaklyn—”
“Yes, or I’m going back to that side of the couch.”
“Yes,” I answered, my cheek twitching at her warning.
“Good.” Slowly, as she held my stare, she leaned in and pressed her lips to the corner of my mouth.
It didn’t take long for the kiss to become heated. I licked at her mouth, wanting to taste her again, and she almost fell forward when she leaned closer to get more of me. Not stopping the kiss, I reached for her hands and put them on my shoulders, pulling my mouth back just enough to say against her lips, “I’m fine with being touched, especially by you. Just nothing too aggressive.”
“But you can touch me that way, right?” she asked breathlessly.
“Oh, fuck yes. I plan on touching you any way I can.” I pressed my lips to hers and pulled back enough to say, “Gently.” Then I nipped at her lips. “Or roughly. Any.” Kiss. “Way.” Kiss. “I can.”
Then my hands trailed down her arms, over her breasts, and moved to grip the edge of her sweater, tugging it back over her head. She gripped the edge of my shirt and hesitated. I hated that she needed to hesitate, but also appreciated the fact that she did. With a slight nod from me, she tugged it off and moved back to kissing me.
And something I’d only managed to do with Oaklyn, I closed my eyes and savored the taste of her as I tugged her closer, pulling her into my chest. Her soft skin pressed to mine, and I had to pull back to breathe through the excitement of the sensation.
