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Unfortunately, at least in Victoria’s view, they passed Elaine in the second-floor corridor. Elaine stopped cold in her tracks and gave them the most disapproving look she could muster. “Whatever is the matter with you, Victoria? Why is Rafael carrying you like that?” Then her disapproving look lightened a bit and she added, “Did you hurt your leg? I imagine you did. You danced so very much last night, didn’t you? I said to Damien that you danced with every man. Indeed, I—”
“We’ll see you later, Elaine,” Rafael said mildly, cutting her off as he opened their bedchamber door, then kicked it closed behind him. He carried Victoria to the immense bed and very gently laid her on her back.
“The hot towel should be arriving soon. Let me help you off with your clothes.”
Victoria said nothing. He was gentle, she granted him that, but her leg gave a particularly vicious spasm when he tugged off her riding boot, and she heard herself groaning, clutching at the leg, and rolling onto her side. Rafael watched, not knowing what to do. He had to get her wretched clothes off, that was the most important thing. Then the hot towel, then some laudanum.
“Come, just a few more minutes. You’ll feel better soon, Victoria, I swear.”
She was pretending to believe him, he thought as he quickly and efficiently stripped her down to her shift. He’d just pulled a blanket over her when there was a tap on the bedchamber door.
It was Molly, her mobcap at an even more precarious angle now, and she was carrying the hot towel wrapped in between several other towels. He didn’t ask her how she’d managed. He was simply grateful that she had. He thanked her and sent her after another.
He walked to the bed and stared down at Victoria for a moment. She was rubbing her thigh, her eyes closed.
“Let’s try this now,” he said. He sa
t beside her and as gently as he could wrapped the very hot towel around her thigh. “Now, we’ll keep the heat in with some blankets.”
She sucked in her breath, flinching at the heat.
Rafael eased down beside her, slipping his right arm beneath her shoulders, and began to knead the muscles through the hot towel in the same deep way he’d done before. “I know that must burn, but try to bear it. It will lessen. And you will feel better soon.” His damned litany, he thought.
To Victoria’s immense thankfulness, by the time the third towel was wrapped about her thigh, she felt only a slight twinge. The pain was gone.
“I’m all right now.” There was a good deal of wonder in her voice.
“Excellent. Keep this towel on for a few more minutes.” He didn’t lie beside her this time, merely stood by the bed, looking down at her. “Would you like some laudanum?”
“No, I don’t like to use it, only when I’ve been very foolish and really hurt myself.”
He was silent once again. Victoria closed her eyes. He was behaving very well. She could see no distaste, no revulsion in his expression.
She jerked when he said suddenly, his voice harsh, “Why didn’t you tell me? It appears that everyone else knows of your problem except me. I find that peculiar, since I’m your husband.”
She struggled with herself.
“Why, Victoria? I assume this is your ugliness? Is this also your confession? Why the hell didn’t you tell me?”
Angry, she thought, he was very angry. She opened her eyes and turned her head on the pillow to face him. No, she thought, he was beyond anger, she could see that. He was furious, coldly and calmly furious, his hands hard fists at his sides.
“Yes,” she said slowly, “it is my ugliness and you can’t deny that it is dreadful. And yes, it was my confession.”
“Why didn’t you tell me? On our wedding night? Hell, before we were married?”
“I wanted to tell you on our wedding night, but when I tried, you assumed that my confession was that I’d already lost my virginity to your brother. You didn’t deserve the truth then.”
He said nothing to that. Finally he said, his voice meditative, “So many things have become miraculously clear to me in the past hour. I remember the night I rescued you from those smugglers. You were running from me and you tripped. You obviously hurt your leg, but you refused to admit anything to me. There were several other times as well, as I recall. You were terrified I would discover that you were, ah, not whole.”
She flinched.
“So you decided to punish me with silence. Did you ever intend to tell me? Was I never to be allowed to see my wife’s body?”
“I was going to tell you,” she said dully.
He said something very crude.
“It’s the truth.” She felt her own anger spark at his words. She came up on her elbows. “How dare you, Rafael. How dare you assume that I had been with your brother when I told you I had a confession to make? You were horrible to me, why should I have told you the truth? You deserved nothing from me. Nothing, damn you.”
