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“Just wanted to talk to you about something,” he announces ominously, and I’m almost certain Tessa must have told him about our chat earlier, but then he steers the conversation somewhere different. “I know your father can be difficult. He has many flaws, but he loves you.”
“He also has an odd way of showing it.”
“I know, but he shows you in his own way.”
“He killed my mother.”
“She was not a good person.”
“That doesn’t make it right.”
“A lot of things in our world are not right.” Damon sighs and shakes his head. “I’m not defending what he did. I’m trying to explain why Xander does the things he does.”
“I don’t think anyone knows why.”
“Understand that he didn’t grow up like you did. Our father started training us very young, treating us like adults and keeping us away from our mother before he then killed her.”
I knew about my grandfather being a tyrant, but I didn’t know about him killing my grandmother. “So, I guess history repeated itself.”
“That’s exactly what I thought when I found out. I thought Xander had turned into our father, but then I saw the way he looked at you. I seriously thought it was a joke at first. My brother holding a baby was the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever seen. The more I watched him with you, the more I realized this was anything but a joke. He looked at you with a kind of love in his eyes you can’t fake, and he did whatever he could to protect you.”
Part of me knows he loves me, but it doesn’t lessen the hurt. “This doesn’t change anything for me. I still don’t know if I can forgive him. He lied, kept stuff from me.”
“I know. Just try to understand, even though your father doesn’t show it, he is hurting too. All of this is weighing on him, and he is still grieving your sister.”
“So am I!” I yell at him at the mention of Adela.
He lifts his hands, palms up, and takes a step back as if backing away from a wild animal. “I understand, you are both hurting, but pushing each other away is only going to make things worse.”
“Thanks for the Ted talk,” I dismiss my uncle.
He gives me a stern look, but thankfully, takes the hint and turns away from me to leave. “Merry Christmas,” he says gruffly before shutting the door behind him.
Fuck me. This is even worse than I’d imagined. I figured the holidays would be a shitshow, but this has reached new heights. The surrounding air suddenly becomes stale, and I feel like I’m not able to suck enough oxygen in. My chest heaves. I need some fresh air or a fucking drink.
Grabbing my jacket, wallet, and keys, I exit my room and speed walk downstairs. Not wanting to run into my parents, I walk through the kitchen and head for the back entrance. The staff is still busy cleaning up when I enter, but besides a curious glance, no one questions me about being here.
Without a word, I cross the space and open the back door. Cool December air whooshes over me, simmering the rage down for a split second.
“Where are you going?” Scarlet’s voice meets my ear.
Looking over my shoulder, I find her only a few feet away, and I wonder how long she has been following me, and why the hell I didn’t notice it.
“Go to bed. I’m just going for a drive.”
“I wanna come with you.”
“No.” I shake my head.
“Yes.”
“No!”
“Yes!” She glares at me and stomps her foot like a perpetual child. “Take me with you, or I’m telling Mom you left.”
“Sometimes, I wish you were a boy, so I could at least punch you in the face.” I grin.
“Please, Q. I never get to go anywhere, and I don’t see you a lot. We’re just going for a drive. No one will know.”
I look over her shoulder at the kitchen staff, who are about to leave. They are still not paying us any attention, and I don’t think they’ll say anything.
“Fine, let’s go.”
37
ASPEN
I’m startled awake by the shrieking of an alarm. I roll over and slap a hand against the nightstand, searching for my phone. The alarm gets louder, and I peel my eyes open slowly. My body is still heavy with sleep, and I take a bit to realize my phone alarm isn’t going off.
A loud booming mechanical voice fills my bedroom. “EVACUATE THE PREMISES!”
The sleep drains from my body and mixes with confusion. What the hell is going on? I climb out of bed, tossing the covers back. I reach for a pair of pants and tug them up my legs. Then I grab a shirt and sweater sans bra before shoving my feet into a pair of sneakers. I look like a mess.
