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I head into my bathroom, quickly dry my hair and put on a little mascara. I study my reflection in the mirror and all I manage to see is puffiness and hopeless desperation staring me back. Great, in other words, I look like complete shit, yet I whack on a smile and make myself feel like a fraud.
I walk downstairs to find Jackson has made himself one hell of a sandwich and is halfway through, while another sits on a plate beside him. His eyes lift to me as he hears my boots against the tiles. “Fuck,” he grunts, raising his eyebrows in appreciation. “You’re so fucking hot.”
“Um, thanks,” I say, really not feeling it.
“Here,” he says around another bite of his sandwich. “Made you one too.”
“Wow, how romantic,” I say, my voice laced heavily with sarcasm.
“Romantic?” he grins. “Is this a date?”
“Hell no, it’s not,” I tell him. “I haven’t gone back on what I said. I’m in love with Nate and nothing is going to change that any time soon.”
“That’s what I thought,” he says. “But you can’t blame a man for trying.”
I roll my eyes and sit down beside him before taking a bite of what must be the biggest sandwich I’ve ever seen.
I demolish it in no time and when I look across at Jackson, I find him gawking back at me. “What?” I grumble on the last bite of my sandwich.
“I can’t tell you how refreshing it is to see a girl eat like that,” he laughs. “I mean, you eat like a fucking man. I’ve never seen it before. Usually, you chicks eat like fucking birds.”
I swallow my food and look away. I’m not quite sure how to feel about that. On one hand, I guess it’s kind of a compliment and reminds me just how far I’ve come since I hardly would eat at all, but on the other hand, I can add feeling like a pig to the list of shitty things I feel right now. “Come on,” I say, pushing back off my chair. “Let’s get out of here.”
“My pleasure,” he says, surprising me as he gets up from his chair and takes my plate to the sink. He quickly washes it before stacking it on the drying rack and wiping down the table. “Let’s go.”
I follow him out to his Charger. “Are you trying to fool me with your domestic abilities? Because I’m not buying it.”
He turns back to grin at me. “I guess you’ll never know.”
I roll my eyes as we drop down into his car. The conversation pretty much comes to a dead stop, apart from the usual ‘this is going to be awesome’ bullshit. We pull up on a busy street and I can already tell this isn’t a place that I’m meant to be. They’re different here and it terrifies me.
This is the part of town where the majority of kids from Haven Falls Private go to. Here, there are no rules. Here, no one cares about the consequences.
Great. This is going to be fun. At least I didn’t dress up too much. I might just fit in. But then, everyone here would know Nate Ryder and because of that, they’ll all know me. What was I thinking?
“Relax, would you?” Jackson says, getting out of the car. “It’ll be fine.”
“Fine?” I grunt. “I’m the girlfriend of public enemy number one.”
“Ex-girlfriend,” he reminds me. “And because of that, these guys are going to love you.”
“Yeah,” I groan. “That’s what I’m worried about.”
I pull up my big girl panties and allow Jackson to lead me inside. Heavy metal blares through the speakers and the second the door opens, I’m smacked in the face with clouds of smoke. Though, I don’t know if it’s from cigarettes or pot. Probably both.
Jackson takes my hand and leads me through the house as though I’m some sort of prize. I shrink away from the feel of his hand in mine but at the same time, without his lead in here, I’d be in trouble. I mean, a shitload of trouble.
People bump into me from every angle. Smoke is blown into my face from people looking down at me. Drinks are spilled and unapologetically splashed onto me. This is something that would never happen with Nate. People have respect for him. They fear him. But here with Jackson, he’s just one of the crowd. Someone they don’t care to piss off, making me one of those people too.
Shit. I really shouldn’t have come. What was I thinking?
Jackson finds us a cooler filled with beer and he thrusts one into my hand, not bothering to ask if it’s what I want, but I don’t say anything. I won’t be drinking here tonight. In fact, as soon as I can, I’ll be getting my ass out of here.
