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“I had a gigantic crush on him when I was growing up,” I explained. “I didn’t know if he knew, or if he cared, or if he only saw me as a friend. Do you remember Mum and Dad taking you to Grandma’s the weekend of my eighteenth so I could have a party?”
Lucy nodded. “I hated you because you wouldn’t let me stay.”
“Yeah, you did.” I laughed. “Well, I was really surprised when Jason and Drew showed up because I didn’t think they’d want to hang out with my friends, but they did. They were the last ones to leave. Jason gave me my first kiss when he said goodnight.”
Eighteen seemed a million years ago, and that night felt like another life. In many ways, it was.
Lucy was silent for a few minutes. “What was it like?”
“Well, first kisses are always-”
“No,” she interrupted. “What was it like kissing Jason?”
Her cheeks flamed, and she closed her eyes, burying her face into the cushion I’d thrown at her.
What the hell?
“Wh...? Lucy, are you... do you...?”
“Yes,” she mumbled from behind her cushion-shield. “I like Jason.”
I sat bolt upright. “Jason?”
I must be more pissed than I thought. Lucy. Jason? Too insane for words.
“What?” Lucy asked. “You liked him once, too.”
“Well, yes. But... it’s not the same thing. You... I... why?”
“Why do you think? He’s Jason Brooks. I like him for the same reasons a million other girls do.”
I shook my head. “I’m not buying it. Other girls are into him because he’s famous and he knows how to rock the stage. You know him for real.”
Well. Kind of. At least, she knew he was more than his onstage persona.
“I like that, too. How he’s real, and although he becomes someone else on stage, he’s still mostly himself. He’s funny and honest and... gorgeous.” Her face flushed brighter and she pulled the cushion closer to her. “Anyway, it’s no big deal.”
“If you didn’t think it was a big deal, you wouldn’t be hiding.”
“He’s your best friend and you’re my sister. It’s embarrassing! More so now I’ve discovered you used to go out with him!”
“I didn’t go out with him. We got drunk a few times and... stuff happened.”
She winced as if my words caused her actual, physical pain. “What kind of stuff? Oh my God, did you have sex with him?”
“No! Mostly kissing. We were young, we drank a lot, and we ended up in my room at uni and there was... occasional... touching. But nothing heavy!” I added, quickly. “Drunken fumbling before we passed out.”
“Did you want to have sex with him?”
“Lucy, come on!” I stood up and busied myself collecting the empty bottles. “Why are you grilling me about something that happened six years ago?”
I desperately regretted telling her the truth, but how was I to know she was harbouring a crush? I cast my mind back, looking for signs. The other night at my parents’ house, she blushed a few times when he talked to her, but... she could be shy sometimes, even around people she knew. I remembered how she wiggled her hips and eyebrows when she asked him if he wanted to join in with the dance game, but she was on a total high from the fame she’d get from me dating Drew. What about before then? Christmas? Jason got drunk after Christmas dinner and fell asleep on the sofa and she covered him with a blanket. Wouldn’t anyone do that, though?
“I want to know.”
Oh, wow. She’s got it bad.
With a sigh, I put the bottles back on
