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“That’s not what I’m doing. I’m just… I’m trying not to be the selfish asshole I usually am. I wouldn’t ask you to give up everything for me.”
“I know that. And I wouldn’t. Not because you’re not worth it, because you are. But because I trust that things will work out the way they’re supposed to. And if we can’t survive me being at uni and you being on the road, it would never have worked out anyway.”
There was a long silence that made me nervous, and just as I was worried he’d hung up or something, Jason said, “You are fucking amazing. This age thing people keep talking about… it’s bullshit. You’re probably more of an adult than I am.”
I laughed. “I don’t know if I’d go that far.”
“You’re smart, Luce. You know what you want and you know how to get it. And you don’t let anything get in the way.”
“Hmm. I’m pretty sure I would describe you the same way. That’s probably why we get along so well.”
“People usually describe me as single-minded and selfish.”
“Maybe those two descriptions are different ways of saying the same thing, depending on how you view it. Perhaps me doing what I want in spite of what it might do to us could be considered selfish.”
Again, Jason laughed. “This conversation is getting way too deep for the limited amount of sleep I’ve had in the last twenty-four hours. You’re not selfish, though. That’s the last thing you are. And I’m sorry your parents are giving you a hard time. You don’t deserve it.”
I closed my eyes, letting out a sigh. “I want to come back, Jase. I don’t want to be here.”
“I know,” he said, softly. “If I thought it would make anything any better, I’d book you on the next flight over here. But we’re gonna have to hang in there and wait this two weeks out. We have a lot of people to prove wrong, and we’re going to do that by showing them we meant what we said.”
Chapter 12 – I’ll Always Catch You
Jason’s words carried me through the next few days. The truth in them kept me strong as my parents continued to treat me with mild hostility. Nobody could accuse me of not making an effort with them. I tried spending less time in my room and more with them; I was met with tight smiles and awkward conversations. I hadn’t seen or heard from Ellie since we get home, and I wasn’t quite ready to deal with her yet. I wanted more than anything to bridge the gap between us, but it still hurt that she hadn’t backed me up, and if she’d changed her opinion, she would have called. I toyed with the idea of going to visit one of my uni friends, but since I’d been screwed over by a few of them too, I wasn’t sure who to trust. My only ally was Jason’s dad, and I’d visited him several times. Being in his house made me feel closer to Jason. Even though Jason hadn’t lived there for years, it was the closest connection I had, and Michael seemed to understand that I needed something to hold on to. Jason and I spoke on the phone every day, more than once if there was time between shows, interviews, travel and sleep. We both counted down the days until he would arrive in London, and we’d be reunited.
**
Six days after Jason arrived in New York, every plan we had was blown to pieces.
Have you ever walked into a room and instinctively known something was wrong? I’d entered the kitchen early in the morning and my mum was sitting at the kitchen table with her back to me. I could hear Dad’s voice from the living room, it sounded as if he was on the phone, and nothing about the scenario was unusual. Except the atmosphere. It felt… still. Sombre. The way the air feels before a huge storm. I wrapped my dressing gown more tightly around myself as a shi
ver rippled across my skin.
“Mum?”
When she turned to me she was shaking and her eyes were rimmed with redness, as if she’d been crying for a long time and had only just stopped.
“Mum, what’s wrong?”
She blew out a slow breath. “Sit down, Lucy.”
I hadn’t seen my mother in this state… ever, and as I approached the table and sat beside her, my own body began to tremble with the severity of what I was about to hear. It had to be huge, and it was going to affect me; I could tell by the heaviness in her eyes.
“Lucy, there’s been an accident. A very serious accident. Ellie called us a few hours ago, and-”
My stomach jolted and I clutched my hand over it as dread rushed into my bones. “Oh my God. Mum. Who’s hurt?”
“It’s the band, Lucy.” Mum paused, taking a few more breaths which only served to make the fear inside me ramp up higher. “The tour bus was on the way to Houston, and there was a crash. The… the bus…”
“Mum, please,” I begged, my voice trembling as much as my body. “Just tell me.”
She gave me a small, reassuring smile. “Jason’s okay, Lucy. He’s bruised and shaken, and he’s in hospital, but he’s okay.” A small rush of relief left me, but it was only brief because something was obviously very wrong. “Joey is also okay. Like Jason, he’s got minor injuries. They’ve both been very lucky.”
My heart began to sink. Drew. She hadn’t mentioned Drew yet, and I covered my mouth with my hand, trying to fight the sickness that threatened to climb out of my stomach as I stared at my mum, waiting for her to continue.
“Drew is in intensive care. He’s suffered a head injury, as well as a lot of broken bones, and they had to perform emergency surgery due to internal bleeding.”
I shook my head slowly. “No,” I mumbled. “Is he going to be okay?”
