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The tiniest smile showed on her face. “Good to know you haven't totally turned into a goody-goody without my influence.”
I poked out my tongue at her, crossing my eyes; the most immature gesture I'd used since the last time I'd seen her. Taylor burst out laughing.
“I missed you, Bree.”
“Let's not get too sentimental. I haven't decided how long I'm staying.”
Taylor reached across the table and touched my hand. “Bree, come on. I know what I did, okay? I messed up. How am I supposed to fix this if you don't give me a chance?”
She was doing that thing. The thing that made me forget how much of a monster she'd been. It must have been some kind of witchcraft because every time she did it – and I'd never even figured out what “it” was – I mellowed a little. I'd already established the puppy dog eyes didn't work but something about her always won me over, even if just a little bit.
“Let's see how things go, okay?”
Taylor nodded then took a sip of her drink. “So, why don't you start by telling me what's new with you?”
Before my brain had a chance to think, I launched into an explanation of my desire to be a make-up artist, and how Jude hated the idea and refused to let me explore the one thing I'd ever wanted to do. How could I stop myself? The argument was fresh in my mind, and Taylor had asked. Even if she wasn't being completely genuine, what was the worst she could do with this information? Tell him what I'd said? Tell our friends? Okay, well, that would suck. It sucked that I confided in her before confiding in Leah and Freya but they both had so many other things going on. Leah had her pregnancy to think about, and Freya was all loved up with Will. They didn't need me bringing them down. Taylor thrived on other people’s unhappiness – she was the perfect solution.
“I'm just so tired,” I finished, heaving out a sigh. “When I told Jesse, he was so supportive, but my own husband? He-”
“Hold on.” Taylor held up her hands. “You mentioned Jesse a couple times. What's going on?”
My head dropped to one side, eyeing her with confusion. “What do you mean? He's a friend.”
“Right, but I didn't realise you were so close.”
“Well, it's only been since he's been off work. I've had more time than anyone else to go visit him.” I shrugged. “He's easy to talk to.”
Even as I said the words, they sounded false. Jesse meant more to me every time I saw him, every time he allowed me to be myself without questioning my every move. He’d been my lifeline in a way, and he probably didn’t even realise. And it wasn’t just him. I loved his parents and his sister, too. The Shaws had become the family I’d never really had. I’d started to suffocate and Jesse gave me a place where I could breathe.
“Bree,” Taylor said, gently. More gentle than she’d ever sounded before. “You don’t think I understand? Hello, I dated Jesse! If anyone can understand someone falling for him, it’s me.”
You didn’t fall for him. You used him.
“Oh, I hear what you’re thinking,” she went on. “In spite of what happened, I did care about him. And why wouldn’t you be into him? He’s hot, he’s close to your age, he’s-”
“He’s a little young, actually. I mean, God, he’s still a teenager.” The idiocy of my recent thought patterns slammed into me and I shook my head. “Forget it, Taylor. It’s nothing.”
She reached for my hand again. “Don’t shut down on me now. You’ve already told me everything about you and Jude. Might as well keep going.”
When she smiled, I almost forgot the bad stuff about her. Almost.
“It’s not a big deal. I mean, yeah, I like Jesse. I guess I more than like him, but I don’t wanna… I love Jude.”
Taylor’s eyes widened as if challenging me. “The truth, please.”
“That is the truth. Jesse’s great. We like a lot of the same things and we have fun together. But he’s got a girlfriend and I have a husband. So anything I feel doesn’t even matter.”
Taylor opened her mouth but her eyes fell on something or someone over my shoulder and the words never came out. I turned, and my stomach jolted as Will and Miguel entered. They spotted us within seconds but instead of walking over to march me away, they nodded their heads in my direction then went over to the bar.
Weird. Their dark expressions showed they weren’t happy to see me with the enemy but they said nothing.
As I turned back to Taylor, the stunned look slowly left her face. “You wanna go somewhere else?”
I shook my head. “I’m good here.”
She shrugged. “Okay. So… what about Jesse’s girlfriend? She can’t possibly be any competition for you. You’re gorgeous.”
“Actually, she looks adorable. I haven’t met her yet, nobody has. She lives in England, and-”
