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“Is that what he said?”
“No. He said you wanted some space, but what’s happened is that you’ve thrown him out. So now he’s at his parents’ place trying to deal with all this shit on his own.”
I fixed Bryce with a glare. “Don’t turn this on me. I never said he couldn’t talk to me about that. I never said he couldn’t talk to me. Me needing space has nothing to do with Jayden.”
“No?”
I wasn’t absolutely sure I recognised the man in front of me. Bryce had played mediator between Radleigh and me more than once. And he usually did so impartially. By being there for both of us without judgement. Without taking sides. He smoothed over the cracks and made it easier for us to find a compromise. The need for him to do so was rare, but every other time, I’d believed he was supporting us both. This time I didn’t feel supported or understood at all.
“I’m just asking you to be honest, Leah.”
“I have been honest,” I replied calmly. “I haven’t hidden the fact that I would have preferred that Jayden belonged to Gary. I haven’t hidden the fact that this terrifies me. That Radleigh having a lifelong connection to Jen makes me edgy and unreasonable, and that I wanted this whole scenario to play out a different way. But deep down, before the results came, I had already accepted that Jayden is Radleigh’s son. Jen isn’t stupid. She’s many things, but she’s not stupid, and she wouldn’t have come back here parading her kid around if she wasn’t damn sure she already knew the answer. And with my acceptance came the understanding that Radleigh will have Jayden in his life. That part is fine with me. What’s not fine is him lying. So… whatever you think is going on in my head, you’re wrong. This is solely about Radleigh hiding things. If I can’t trust him to be upfront about something so small, and according to him, insignificant, how am I supposed to trust him with anything? That’s why I need a break. I need him to take a look at what’s going on and think about why he did that.”
Bryce let out a humourless laugh, shaking his head. “Right. So… what? What if this space you’ve given him makes him think he still has feelings for her? What then?”
His words stabbed into my skin like knives and I swallowed hard so I could breathe past the lump in my throat. “If it’s really that easy…if just seeing her makes him re-think how he feels then marrying me would be a huge mistake.” When he didn’t speak for a few moments, I stared at him. “Why are you asking me all this anyway?”
“Because I want you to think about what time apart could do to you both. You give her an opening to get to him and she’ll crawl into it and fuck with his head.”
“And like I said, if he lets her do that, if he lets her in, then he shouldn’t be with me. I can tell you right now, Bryce, there is not another person in the world that could convince me that Radleigh isn’t the person I want to be with. I have loved him since the first time his lips touched mine. I loved him when he tried with everything he had to push me away, and I loved him even when I forced myself to pretend I didn’t. So… if she is important enough to come between everything we have, and if she can really get into his head so fast, what chance do I have whether he’s here or not?”
Blinking to clear the tears that filled my eyes, I picked up my glass, walked across the room and dumped what was left of the wine down the sink before resting my hands on the draining board, my breath coming fast and heavy as I tried to fight off the sick feeling that washed over me.
What if I’m not enough?
Before I knew what was happening, Bryce turned me around and pulled me into his arms again, holding me tight. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
Once again, I clung to him as the tears started to fall. “I’m scared, Bryce. I’m so scared.”
“It’s gonna be okay. Things will work out, just… don’t shut him out, okay?”
“I haven’t. I won’t.”
Chapter Nine – I’m Coming Home
Bryce stayed with me for a couple of hours before heading home, and after he left I felt significantly more hopeful than I had when he’d arrived. I wasn’t mad at him for pushing me so hard. He did it because he didn’t want anything to come between me and Radleigh; he’d been an incredible friend to both of us and although I had my girlfriends, sometimes Bryce was the best person because he knew both Radleigh and me extremely well. Well enough to know when to step in. Before he left, he persuaded me to go to the Warriors match the next day, and I agreed. It would do me good to go outside and face the people. Nobody knew the results of Radleigh’s paternity test yet, and as much as I wanted to hide from it a little longer, my friends would ask and I would have to tell them eventually. Might as well rip off the band-aid.
I left it pretty late to get to the stadium because I wanted to sneak in without
it being a big deal. If I’d got there before the match started, Radleigh would have spotted me sitting with my friends on the benches and I didn’t want to distract him. I’d left Jessica with Radleigh’s parents. My plan was to ask Radleigh if he wanted to keep her overnight since he had the next day off work. Maybe it seemed silly since he’d be home again once the weekend was over, but I knew how much he must have missed her, even after only one night. I didn’t want him to feel like I was keeping her away from him. I didn’t want him away from us anymore really, but as much as I wanted him to come home, I still needed a little more breathing space.
“Leah!” Freya hugged me as I perched on the end of bench beside her. “I didn’t know you were coming today.”
“Me neither. Kind of a last minute decision.”
She gave me a soft smile. “I was gonna call you later. I didn’t wanna interrupt anything last night.”
I probably should have called her after Radleigh left to let her and Miguel know the news, but I’d been too busy uncorking the wine and drowning my sorrows. Well, until Bryce stopped me.
I glanced over her head at the people around us. The benches were full of Westberg staff and players, and although they were either engrossed in the game or talking quietly amongst themselves, I didn’t want to go into it with her in front of everyone.
In her eyes, I could see she understood, but she asked me the question with her eyes. Is Radleigh the father? I gave a single nod and she gasped, her hand shooting up to cover her mouth.
“I’ll tell you everything later. Are you free after the game? Jessica is with Mitch and Deanna so I’m child free.”
“Are you kidding? If I wasn’t, I’d make time. Genie’s?”
I smiled. It had been a while since I’d been to the surfer bar on the beach near Freya’s apartment. I used to go there a lot when I lived with her, and occasionally we enjoyed their Sunday morning breakfasts if we’d had a heavy night before. “Sounds like a plan.”
