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“I’m trying. I promise.” I fixed him with an overly fake smile and he began to laugh, twirling me around again.
“I can see that. But smiling that way might lead people to think you’re a serial killer so you might wanna tone it down a little.”
“Sorry.” I chuckled. “Faking happiness is hard work!”
“That it is, but you can do this. Besides, after a few drinks, you won’t need to fake it.”
“Good point. In that case, maybe we should have another!”
The evening in the club with my friends was definitely a wise decision. One of the highlights of the evening included a random guy trying to dance with Bree, only to look totally horrified when he placed his hands on her swollen stomach as he’d approached her from behind. I don’t think I’d ever laughed so hard as he apologised and tripped over his own feet as he tried to get away as if she was diseased.
Bryce accompanied me home in a cab, and as we entered my driveway, the press who still hadn’t left yet got snap happy as they photographed us going inside the house together. No doubt that would make excellent gossip in the papers in the morning.
As was normal custom on arriving home after a night out, I went to the kitchen to make us some coffee, and we stayed up for a while talking. Since it had gotten late, Bryce decided to crash in one of the guest rooms, which again, was pretty normal. However, usually, Radleigh was there too, so I text him to let him know Bryce was staying, just so he didn’t get a surprise later in the day when he was photographed leaving our place early in the morning. Radleigh wouldn’t have thought anything of it, but I needed to make sure I was doing everything I was asking of him. Being honest and open while we were apart.
I lay in bed for a long time, wondering how things would go when Radleigh met Jayden. Would they get along okay? Would Radleigh fall in love with him the way he had instantly fallen in love with Jessica? Would he and Jen talk much? It was impossible to guess, and I really hated the unknown. Hated waiting. More than anything, I wanted it to be over and done with. To fast forward the time so things were okay again, whatever that might mean.
Chapter Eleven – A Picture Speaks A Thousand Words
And there it was. The alert that told me my life had officially changed. It came mid-afternoon on Sunday, long after Bryce had gone home and left me to overthink everything again.
As much as I hated it and wanted to deny it, Jen was now and forever a part of our lives. With a tentative, shaky breath, I clicked to see what the media reported. The photos showed Radleigh sitting opposite Jen, with Jayden beside him and Harley beside Jen. They appeared to be in a café of some kind, not one I recognised. Although the photo had been taken through a window and was a little distorted, I could see Jen had a salad in front of her, and Harley had some kind of baguette, broken up into small pieces. I didn’t bother to read any of what was written in the article, I just scrolled down to see the rest of the pictures. A sharp stabbing pain in my stomach forced me to let out a gasp. The photographer had changed his angle, and the next photo showed Radleigh and Jayden laughing together, a look of absolute love radiating from Radleigh’s eyes, and Jayden staring at him with wide-eyed adoration.
I knew it was coming. I’d been warned. And I always knew that the first time I saw Radleigh with Jayden, it would puncture a hole in my heart because I’d only ever seen that kind of love in his eyes for Jessica. Knowing he now had to share that love would take some getting used to. God, the kid was cute, though. He really didn’t have a shred of Radleigh in his features. He was all Jen. Blonde, big bright blue eyes and the kind of smile that would one day have girls falling at his feet. Okay, maybe there was a little trace of Radleigh in him. As much as I didn’t want him to have a child with Jen, though, I was pleased Jayden appeared to have warmed to him so fast. What if I never gave him a son? What if I could only ever give him daughters, and subsequently a house filled with screaming hormones? I wasn’t selfish enough that I didn’t want him to have Jayden in his life, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt to know that Jen had given him something I hadn’t. That it was her who had given him the precious boy he’d wanted so badly.
I closed the link, unable to look at it any longer. Didn’t need to. The image was permanently captured in my mind. A surge of energy ran through me, like I couldn’t sit still for another second or I’d lose my mind. I needed to move, to do something to take my mind off things until Radleigh and Jessica came home in a couple of hours. Instead of dwelling on what I’d just seen, I leapt up and ran upstairs to change into my workout gear. What I needed was to pound out a few miles on the treadmill to kill off the restlessness, and as an added bonus, I wouldn’t hear the phone if I was in the gym, especially if I turned up the sound system.
The only thing I kept with me as I began my run was my mobile, because only people I knew would call me on that. The house phone, I knew, would soon be ringing like crazy with people trying to contact me for my feelings on Radleigh and Jayden, and I had nothing to say to them. I’d do what Radleigh told me. Leave it to our team to deal with so we could get on with patching up our lives.
As I jogged, I focused solely on the pounding of my feet and the melody of the music because that was all that mattered. All I wanted to matter while I blocked everything out. I could still feel the ache in my heart as the sweat trickled down my skin but I kept going, pushing harder until it all began to ease.
It was an hour before I finally had to give in and take a shower, and since I wasn’t planning to leave the house, I threw on Radleigh’s enormous hoodie – one I’d stolen from him because it was comfortable, and mainly worn on duvet days. It was long enough that I didn’t need to worry about wearing trousers, and without drying my hair, I padded back down to the gym to pick up my phone. My heart stilled as I found another notification. Drawing in a deep breath, I followed the link. I was expecting to see more of the same photos as I’d seen earlier, but what I got was something that made my whole body turn cold, and my stomach dropped.
Another article, with the headline, “Radleigh McCoy’s Wedding Cancelled As He Reunites With Former Love Jen Winters.” My pulse raced. How had this conclusion been reached, and why the hell was it online? How could anyone possibly have gleaned that kind of information based on seeing him out with her and her children? The words swam in front of me as I scrolled the screen and then… the photo.
Jen had her arms wound around Radleigh’s neck, her lips pressed against his. The photo only showed the top half of them so I couldn’t see where Radleigh’s hands were, but he sure as hell wasn’t using them to push her off. My own hands shook as I stared. This couldn’t be real. Had to be some Photoshop trickery, right? Because after everything he’d said, there was no way he’d have let her get so close.
The photo appeared to have been taken outside a hotel. No sign of the kids, just him and her, right there in the open, where the press would obviously see them since they’d been stalking us both since the day before.
It was as if I’d floated out of my body as I clutched my phone, staring at it as I made my way down the stairs. I had no idea where I was going or what I was doing. My emotions seemed to have shut right down, unable to process what I was still staring at. Jen’s eyes were closed as she kissed my man. My. Man. And he… his eyes were only half open, not wide, horrified, but sort of… accepting.
It made no sense. If he was going to be stupid enough to kiss her, why there, outside where it could be seen? And if she’d thrown herself at him knowing their every move was being captured, why hadn’t he leapt away? He definitely didn’t look upset by the kiss.
I found myself in my living room, and I placed my phone on the coffee table, trying to work out what I was supposed to do. I’d gone into some kind of shock whereby any normal reactions had left me. I should have been angry or upset or… something. All I felt was empty. Vacant.
“Leah.”
I was aware some time had passed since I walked down the stairs, and had been standing completely dazed in the living room for a while before I heard Radleigh’s voice. I’d no idea how long, but when I whirled around to see him standing i
n the doorway, reality crashed into me like a tidal wave, bringing with it the rage and pain I’d expected to feel on seeing the photo.
His eyes. They were paler than ever, filled with regret. I couldn’t shift my gaze from them for a few minutes as my emotions battled inside me. God damn him. God damn the way he looked at me. God damn the way he looked in his blue jeans and black shirt that was slightly open at the collar. The same shirt he’d been wearing when that bitch had had her hands on him.
“Leah, it’s not-”
I held my hands up. “If you tell me it’s not how it looked, so help me, I will rip your damn head off.”
Radleigh shook his head. “Just let me explain.”
