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I didn’t even know what this was. I felt Freya’s arm around me and she handed me a cup of water. I’d have preferred another cocktail, something to kill the ache I thought I’d permanently cast away.
“Come on,” she said gently. “Let’s get you up.”
I let her and the doctor help me to my feet and guide me to one of the blue plastic chairs in the waiting room. After taking a sip of my drink, I realised I was cold. Not just a little, but shivering, and the doctor said, “Keep hold of her. I’ll be right back.”
Freya lowered herself into the chair beside me and held me tight, trying to warm me with the heat of her body, but nothing was getting through.
“Where’s Bryce? I mumbled.
Honestly, my awareness of everything was skewed. I hadn’t lost my vision, but the alcohol still running through me combined with the headache and the shock had rendered me incapable of seeing anything clearly. I recalled Miguel, Jude, and Cody had been in the waiting room when I’d arrived, and as I looked around, I saw they were still there. Miguel sat with his head in his hands, and Jude and Cody were pacing the way Bryce had been earlier.
“He’s just stepped outside,” Freya said. “He’ll be right back.”
“I need him to tell me what happened. Do you know?”
Freya shook her head. “No, honey. Like I said before, all I know is what he told me on the phone. He didn’t say how this happened.”
“Get him in here. I need to know.”
“I will. As soon as the doctor comes back, I’ll go get him, okay?”
I nodded and took another sip of water. My hands were shaking so much I almost spilled it, and when I was done, I handed the cup back to Freya because I didn’t trust myself to hold it for any length of time.
“Has someone called Mitch and Deanna?” I asked, my voice sounding distant to my own ears.
“I… I don’t…”
“They’ve been called,” Miguel said, and I glanced at him across the room. “They’re just trying to figure out how to get over here because they don’t want to bring Jessica.”
Jessica. They were right not to disturb her, of course, but feeling her in my arms was probably the only thing that would have helped to pull me out of my daze. She and Radleigh were the people I lived for. The people who meant more to me than anyone, and Jessica was a part of him. She was the connection I needed to keep me pushing through this uncertainty. To keep me strong.
The doctor returned with a blanket, which he put around my shoulders. Freya moved aside so I could wrap myself up in it, and some of the chill subsided, even though I continued to shiver.
“I’m going to check on Radleigh,” the doctor said. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
“Do any of you know what happened?” I asked the other guys.
Jude was the only one of them to look up at me. Miguel and Cody carefully kept their eyes from mine. Before he could speak, the sound of an alarm sent a flurry of doctors and nurses running through the waiting room in the direction the other doctor had gone, and I leapt up from my seat.
And just like that, the rest of reality came hurtling back in.
Fear, the kind of fear you hope you’ll never have to feel, crushed at my heart, pushing it down to the pit of my stomach. My pulse was racing so hard I could hear it, and it collided with the ache in my head, doubling the pain and intensifying my panic.
“What’s happening?” I started to run after the doctors to find out, but Freya grabbed my arm.
“No, Leah. You can’t go back there. Let them work.”
“The hell I can’t!” I snapped, yanking my arm free and rushing across the room. Before I could get through the door to follow them, two strong arms circled around me from behind, holding me in place. I hadn’t even seen him coming.
“Get off me, Bryce!” I yelled. “Let go!”
“Freya’s right. You can’t go back there.”
“I need to see him!” I screamed, fighting to get out of his grip. I wriggled in his hold, pulling at his hands to try and loosen them. “Bryce, please! I need to go to him!”
“Leah-”
“I need him to know I’m here! You don’t understand! If he knows I’m here then maybe he’ll be okay, and he’ll fight harder and I need to tell him I-” I choked on the words as sobs wracked my body and I gulped for air.
