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“I don’t know. You looked thoughtful.”
Shaking my head, I sank back into my bean bag again. “It doesn’t matter. God, how did we get here, Bryce? It’s like, one minute I was arriving in L.A with this massive expectation of an amazing job and a fresh start, and then this insane chain of events happened, and now… now I could end up with as little as I started with.”
“Nah. I don’t see that happening. For one thing, you’re way too stubborn to settle for anything less than you want. You’re the kind of woman who always picks herself up and moves on to something better.” He paused then let out a loud laugh. “You know what the first thing Radleigh ever said to me about you was?” I shook my head again, my eyebrows pulling together with curiosity. “He said you looked like the kind of woman who could kick his ass and still have him wanting to come back for more. I think he was imagining you as some kind of strict British headmistress type, but with a dark side.”
“Ha! He thought I was an uptight prude, and he told me as much. Do you remember… there was a night when we were away for the weekend and we went to a club. It was the night I met Miguel, actually. Radleigh told me I needed to get laid so I wouldn’t be so uptight. I nearly punched him in the mouth.”
Bryce laughed. “I do remember that night. Because he looked pretty shocked when he came back from annoying you. He was so pissed that you were into Miguel. I told him to quit being a prick around you, then maybe you might be willing to get to know him. Instead, he pretty much pissed you off at every turn.”
I nodded. “Yeah. I hated him for a long time. But then things changed.”
“You know, the biggest wake up call he ever got in his life was when we came to London and you didn’t accept his apology right away and jump into bed with him. I don’t think he expected you to be that easy, but when you told him you wanted him to feel the same pain you’d felt… it changed everything.”
I flinched a little, remembering how callous my words had been, and a sharp pain ricocheted through my body, like a flashback to how hurt I was back then. I wasn’t even sure I’d meant those words I spat at him, but they flew out of my mouth and my heart broke, certain they’d cemented a definite end to the us that hadn’t really begun yet.
“How so?” I asked, shaking my head to bring me back to the here and now.
“Because it showed him for sure that you cared about him for more than who he is to the rest of the world. That you saw through it all. You didn’t just back down for the sake of being able to tell people you were Radleigh McCoy’s girl. You let him know how you felt, and you stood your ground. Honestly, it was pretty harsh, because he’d suffered. Believe me, he suffered. But he wouldn’t have responded to anything less. I’ve never known him not to screw a girl out of his system before. That was his thing. If anyone got too close, he’d move on and then sleep with as many women as possible until the feelings went away.” He shook his head. “Not with you, though. The number of women he turned down after you left was unreal. That’s how bad he wanted you. Nobody else held any appeal anymore.”
Bryce hadn’t told me much I didn’t already know, but I felt my heart start to crack open again at the reminder of all we’d been through, because none of those things mattered anymore. Not since he started considering Jen as another option. A better option. I tried to blink away the tears filling my eyes, but there was no stopping them, and Bryce reached for my hand then pulled me back to him again.
“I hate this,” I said, wiping the tears away.
Bryce placed a hand on my cheek, softly stroking with his thumb. “I know. And you don’t deserve to be going through it.”
His eyes were soft on mine, his breaths a little shallower than usual. His gaze dropped to my lips for the briefest moment. He moved his head a fraction closer to mine, and a flash of “what if” ripped through my mind. What if I let him kiss me? The question had burst and flitted away into the ether before it had fully formed.
Because there was never a question. And I didn’t need to answer.
And Bryce didn’t either.
He stopped and closed his eyes.
“Bryce,” I whispered.
He dropped his hand from my cheek as his eyes opened again, and as they met mine, he said, “In another time and place, huh?”
I let out a small laugh. “Something like that.”
Bryce rested his forehead against mine. “I’m sorry. I didn’t-”
“You don’t need to explain.” Raising my head slowly, I kissed him on the cheek. “I get it.” With a smile, he nodded. “Come on. Let’s go get some coffee.”
“Coffee sounds good.”
Chapter Three – Some Elaborate Form of Foreplay
The old me would have lost sleep over that little moment with Bryce. I’d have questioned what it meant, how I felt, if I’d made the right choice.
The old me might have even made a move on him.
But there was no need to dwell on it. I already knew what it meant. Bryce Warren had been, for want of better words, my first Westberg crush. He was the equivalent of that guy at school who was good-looking and kind, and who you talked about with your friends, but while you appreciated how incredible he was, you felt more admiration and warmth for him than crippling despair because he hadn’t noticed you. Now, I was lucky enough to call him a friend. And I loved him for every time he’d been there for me, and everything he’d done to keep me together when I wanted to fall apart. Our friendship meant way more than us falling into bed together because we were hurting and lonely. When we left the man cave and had some coffee, everything clicked back to normal. No awkwardness or tension. The moment passed and everything was as it was supposed to be between us.
In the morning, I woke up with that same old feeling of heaviness in my heart. The same old ache that reminded me that alth
ough I was awake, the nightmare continued. Radleigh hadn’t made a decision. Or, if he had, he hadn’t told me. I’d become an expert at painting a smile on my face, and that morning was no exception.
I went to Deanna’s to pick her up for our shopping trip, and right away, my mood lifted. The woman had magic powers, I swear. We headed into the city and hit the shopping mall, and although I couldn’t shift the heavy weight crushing my chest, coffee and cake does make everything feel a little better. The downside? On our way back to the car, we got caught in a freak rain shower which soaked us right through. Instead of going straight back to Mitch and Deanna’s for lunch, I had to go home and change. I left Jessica with Deanna after dropping her back to her place, then drove, shivering, back home.
