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“I can’t dance,” I reminded him.
Except for Prom.
I was still going to Prom with Violet McNamara, despite both of us being with other people. But she and Miller Stratton had an agreement and I didn’t question it. It curled my stomach to admit, but I still needed her.
I waited for Holden to dig at me for that too, but he didn’t.
“I know you can’t dance,” he said. “That’s the point. You trying to dance is what makes it entertaining for me.”
I laughed. “Clubs are not my thing. Too loud. I wouldn’t be able to talk to you.”
“Oh my God,” Holden drawled and pressed his face against my chest. “It’s been months, Whitmore. You’ve seen me naked a hundred times. There is no need to keep saying sweet, River-esque things to woo me. You did it. I’ve been wooed.”
I gripped him by the nape of his neck and gently but firmly tilted his mouth to mine. “You talk too much.”
“Says the guy who claims he wants to talk to me.”
“I want to do both. Kiss you and talk to you.”
“Under a glittering meteor shower, no less,” Holden said and our lips brushed. “You’re a softy. A pillow. A grilled cheese sandwich.”
I kissed him silent and the flame that burned between us flared instantly. Holden hauled my hips against his and slid his hand over the erection straining my jeans. He started to undo the button, but I took a step back.
“Can’t. This is a short break. Save it for tonight.”
Our mouths had been everywhere on each other, but my body was getting impatient for more. I know Holden was too, but he never complained, never pressured, never cracked a joke. But in his bed, I felt the tension under his skin and saw the need in his eyes.
Maybe tonight’s the night.
I didn’t give it more thought than that. I only wanted to do what we were both ready for. That Holden was more experienced didn’t mean anything to me. Whoever he’d been with before didn’t know who they had. But I did.
“Should I have James drive?” he asked.
“Nope, I’ll pick you up at ten.”
We kissed a final time—rough and raw, Holden trying to coerce me with his tongue to stay and let him have his way with my cock. But I broke the kiss and laughed as he snapped at me with his teeth.
“I’ll see you tonight.”
I slipped out of the band room, checking first to make sure the coast was clear. Holden would follow me out a minute later.
It wasn’t our perfect life, but it was the best I could do.
At home that afternoon, I took the stairs up two at a time and knocked on Mom’s door.
“Come in,” she called, her voice soft and breathy.
In March, she’d had good news that her latest cocktail of meds was holding the cancer at bay. But lately she’d been tired a lot and losing weight when she didn’t have weight to lose. Dad was taking her in for more scans in a few days, but a pall hung over the house. She wasn’t supposed to have made it to Christmas. Now, it was nearly a year later but we were all terrified that her extra time had come to an end.
Mom lay against her pillows, swimming in a silky bathrobe. Her hair was short, like a Marine. I liked to tell her she looked like Charlize Theron’s character, Furiosa, in Mad Max: Thunder Road and was just as much of a badass.
Amelia was sitting on the bed with her.
“I can come back,” I said.
“No, it’s fine, join us,” Mom said. “Tell us about your day.”
I met my secret boyfriend in the band room like we’ve been doing for months.
