AllFreeNovel
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I blinked again. “What?”
“Jesus, Whitmore, you’re a goddamn zombie,” Chance said. “We’re talking Prom.”
“It’s months away.”
“Yeah, but you gotta nail down the hottest chicks fast, or else they start getting uppity and looking at college Freshman,” Mikey said with authority.
“So who you thinking about asking?” Donte asked me.
“Don’t know yet. I’m weighing my options.”
“Thatta boy,” Chance said and slugged me in the shoulder, but Donte watched me through narrowed eyes.
Shit…
The lights in the restaurant were too bright. My jacket was too heavy, and my breath felt tight in my chest. My carefully constructed life was squeezing with a claustrophobic fist, punishing me for my weakness. For taking things too far with Holden.
For starting something that had nowhere to go.
“I gotta go,” I said, climbing out of the booth.
“Where?”
“To see who?” Donte asked, eyebrows raised.
“Your mom,” I muttered. “She hates it when I’m late.”
The others laughed but Donte only shrugged, wearing a small knowing smile I didn’t like. “Tell her I said hi.”
I strode through the restaurant and shoved open a side door to the parking lot, my face on fire as if I had a fever. A storm was brewing off the ocean. The sky was heavy with clouds and chilly wind swirled a red and white candy wrapper around the black asphalt. Against the side wall of the restaurant, I pulled out my phone.
I can’t make it tonight.
The reply came a few long moments later. Sounds ominous.
I let my head fall back against the bricks and hit call. Holden picked up but said nothing.
“Hello…?”
“I’m listening,” he said.
“Look…I can’t do this.”
“This.”
“Us. Whatever the fuck we’re doing.”
“Since when?” Holden demanded. “Did something extraordinary happen between now and three hours ago when we were sucking face in your entryway?”
“No, nothing happened,” I said, rubbing the back of my neck. “Okay, yes. Life happened. My messed-up life. It’s not fair that you should put up with my shit while I try to figure it out. You deserve more than my conflicted ass running hot and cold on you every other damn minute.”
“Shut up.”
I blinked. “What…?”
“I said, shut up,” Holden snapped. “You’re worried about what I deserve? As if you have the monopoly on being fucked up.
I have trust issues. I don’t set healthy boundaries. I close down emotionally before people get too close, and I sabotage relationships because I want to be the one who leaves first.”
