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“I figured you wanted it back. Isn’t that why you’re here?”
She quickly moved to me, grabbed my wrists. “It’s yours. No matter what happens between…us.”
Us. I’d never used that word before.
Shiloh read my hard expression and let go of me. She leaned back on the edge of the table, crossed her arms.
“I didn’t come here to take anything from you,” she said. “I came to…I don’t know. Talk.” She cocked her head, her face soft. “You look tired.”
“Shiloh, don’t,” I said, going to the mini fridge for a beer. We were out of beer. Shit.
“Am I not welcome anymore?”
I sank back in Holden’s chair. Too many sleepless nights—years’ worth—were dragging me down. I didn’t have the energy to feed the useless hope that sparked in my chest that she was here. I shut my eyes. If I could only sleep, I could think better. Could say the right things to change everything.
Be better for her.
“You can do what you want,” I said tiredly.
“Ronan…”
“What do you want me to say, Shiloh? We ended…whatever it was. Again.”
“You’re right,” she said, her voice heavy. “I shouldn’t have come. I just thought… Never mind.”
I heard the shuffle of her sandals on the wood plank floor, making to leave. I should’ve let her go. I was supposed to let her go. But like tossing out a lifeline, my hand shot out in the dark and found her wrist. I closed my fingers around her warm skin and opened my eyes, keeping my gaze where I held her. I brought my other hand up and slid it against her fingers, trailing over the rings in gold, silver, and copper.
She moved closer, her skirt brushing my knees. I looked up to see her eyes on me, the same apprehension on her face that lived in my heart.
“I don’t know what I’m doing,” she said softly. “I’ve never…been here before.”
“Me neither.”
“A week ago, my mother came to see me.”
My hand tightened on hers automatically. She squeezed, then gently let go, her fingers slipping out of mine as she hugged herself.
“What happened?”
“Nothing,” she said with a grim smile. “I thought she’d tell me the truth about my father. Instead, she said some horrible shit and left. It spun me out, I guess, like a mini breakdown. So I ignored you.”
“I get it.”
“I’m sorry.”
“So am I. That she did that to you.”
Shiloh huffed a shaky sigh. “You always do that.”
“Do what?”
“Put things simply. Cut through all the complicated crap and make me feel…”
I held my breath, waiting.
“Better,” she said finally. “Being around you makes me feel better, Ronan. And, since we’re being honest, turned on.” She smiled weakly, then shook her head. “But it also brings up all the fears and self-doubts I’ve been trying to bury for years. It’s enough to make a gal seasick, Wentz.”
“What do you want to do about it, Barrera?”
