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He kissed me softly and then gently withdrew from my body. He disposed of the condom with a Kleenex from the box I kept on the floor of my car while I smoothed down my skirt. My underwear was lost somewhere. I’d have to find it at some point, I thought, as the real world returned with a vengeance. I didn’t want to go.
Reluctantly, I gave Ronan his jacket back. Reluctantly, he took it.
He climbed out of the backseat. I did the same on my side, and he was already there, helping me out. My legs were wobbly and pleasantly loose. My entire body felt as if I’d slept for ten hours straight.
“Always a gentleman.”
“Not always.”
He kissed me deeply, holding me close, letting me know I wasn’t going to get away with business as usual so easily. I sagged into his embrace, reveling in the feel of him. His mouth—God, his mouth—and the strong solidity of him that made me feel so safe. When Ronan kissed me, I couldn’t imagine anything could hurt me.
“Would you mind driving?” I asked. “I don’t trust my legs to work properly right now.”
He almost grinned. “I’ll drive.”
The journey back to Santa Cruz went by in a night-darkened blur outside my window. I stole glances of Ronan’s profile now and then, his gaze focused on the road in front of him. He had no idea the effect he had just sitting there, his inked forearms too damn sexy as he held the wheel.
He drove to my house and parked in the drivewa
y.
“Wait…how will you get home?”
“I’ll walk,” he said.
I hated that. Hated that he had to try to outlast the nightmares that chased him.
“If you’re sure.”
“I’m sure.”
In front of the car, he encircled me in his arms but didn’t kiss me. Instead, he studied me by the light of the streetlamp.
“Tomorrow night,” he said. “The Shack.”
I arched a brow. “Are you asking or telling?”
“Telling. I want you there.”
And I knew what he was doing. Making sure I wasn’t going to freak out and ghost him again. His eyes were hard, but beneath, his doubt was the same as mine.
It’s better to be the one who leaves…
He was placing his trust in my hands and asking me not to let it fall, not to throw it away. I had to do the same. Be brave.
“I’ll be there.”
The tension in his body loosened. He kissed me again and then waited as I walked up to my front walk.
Our first date.
I waved to him from the porch. He didn’t wave back but nodded his head as I slipped inside. I slumped against the door and let out a shaky breath.
“So that happened.”
Quietly, so as not to wake Bibi, I crept to the hall bathroom—my bathroom—and started the shower. I stripped down while hot water ran, steam filling the room. My reflection in the mirror, naked, was the same as yesterday, but I felt different. More than the night I lost my virginity. My smile was softer. My eyes lit up. My skin seeming to vibrate under the surface everywhere Ronan had touched me. I didn’t want to wash him off me.
“Silly,” I murmured as I stepped into the shower.
