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It was a slow process, but I learned to stop thinking of myself as walking evidence of my father’s depravity and to start thinking of myself as an embodiment of my mother’s strength. I stopped looking for him in the faces of strangers because he didn’t mean anything to me. He wasn’t a reflection in that mirror.
I clasped my mother’s hand and looked to Bibi, sitting on a sofa with Bertie. To Letitia, chatting with Violet and Luisa by the window, where the sunshine streamed in. I had everything I needed.
I heaved a breath and smoothed down my dress. It was pale pink satin, sleeveless, and tightly fitted around the bodice with a tulle overlay. Floral embroidery in periwinkle, lilac, and sage green cascaded over the full skirt. Letitia had pulled my natural hair into a loose, elegantly messy bun with tendrils falling softly to frame my face.
“Do you think Ronan will like the dress?” I asked the room. “It’s not exactly conventional.”
Bibi cackled from her seat. She looked beautiful in red with a lightweight beaded jacket over her shoulders. “Since when have you two been conventional? Doing everything backward from the get-go…”
“She has a point,” I said, grinning at Mama in the mirror. “Wearing white wouldn’t fool anyone—we have a toddler.”
I smiled, thinking of that toddler, who was currently on the men’s side of the building, readying for his role as our little ring-bearer.
“Girl, that dress is stunning,” Letitia said, looking pretty stunning herself in her lilac bridesmaid dress.
Violet nodded, coming to stand with me. My Maid of Honor already had tears in her eyes. “Gorgeous,” she agreed. “Mostly because you look so happy.”
“I am. I never thought…” I shook my head. “I’ll cry and mess up my makeup.”
Luisa, my employee-turned-friend and third bridesmaid, rushed over with a tissue. “That’s my Bat Signal.”
I laughed. Luisa Coelho was an artist in her own right—doing makeup tutorials on YouTube—and had lent her services, giving me a subtle look that complimented the softness of my hair and dress.
I looked at the assembly of amazing women in my life, marveling at how blessed I was. How it seemed like too much happiness for one person.
A knock came at the door and Holden Parish stuck his head in, covering his eyes.
“Is it safe?”
I laughed. “You’re good.”
He p
eeked open one eye, then both, and clutched his heart. “The sheer volume of beauty in one room is rather excessive, don’t you think?”
Aunt Bertie chuckled. “What a charmer. Where did you find him, Shi?”
“No one found me, my dear lady,” Holden said. “I sprang full-blown from Ronan and Miller’s imagination.”
I exchanged grins with him, and he winked.
After graduation, Holden had disappeared, leaving River Whitmore to wait for him like I had with Ronan. Holden had been all over Europe, killing his own demons, purging them and putting them between the pages of an award-winning novel.
Now he was back and was one of Ronan’s groomsmen, along with Miller and Hector. He looked devastating in a soft gray suit, no tie, the top buttons of his white dress shirt undone. A sprig of pale purple, yellow, and baby blue wildflowers—a miniature version of my bouquet—were tucked in his lapel.
“The coordinator is busy with some flower emergency.” Holden flapped his hand. “I’ve been sent to tell you…it’s time.”
I blew out a breath, butterflies taking flight in my stomach.
“That’s our cue.” Bertie, resplendent in deep purple, helped Bibi to stand. They kissed my cheeks—Bibi’s eyes full, seeing me like she always had. Straight into my heart. She said nothing but patted my cheek, and I pressed into her hand, the love for her overflowing.
The other gals hugged me, and everyone slowly made their way out, Luisa shooting Holden—her partner up the aisle—an appreciative smile.
Holden leaned into me. “Since rehearsal dinner last night, that girl can’t stop making eyes at me. Not that I blame her…”
“It must be such a burden, being as beautiful as you are.”
“It really is,” Holden said seriously, his green eyes twinkling. “If it gets worse, I’m going to have to jump River in the middle of the ceremony to show I’m spoken for.”
