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“You, Shiloh. Always you.”
I shook my head. I was losing the thread of our conversation to exhaustion. My eyes wouldn’t stay open.
“When I wake up, you’ll be gone,” I said from under closed lids.
“Yes.”
“And that’s better. For both of us, right? I can’t give…enough. Don’t want to hurt you…”
I was babbling now but I felt Ronan nod. Felt a shift on the bed, felt him press a soft kiss into my hair.
“Goodnight, Shiloh.”
I started the slide into sleep, but that kiss and the emotion breaking through the cracks in his hard tone made me fight to wake back up. A feeling of making a terrible mistake gripped me, but I was falling down a deep, dark hole, scrabbling for purchase and failing.
When I woke up, the bed was empty. The pillow still smelled like him. Light was streaming in through my window and the clock read a little after seven a.m.
“Bibi.”
I kicked off the covers. Since I was still dressed, I drew on my shoes and sweater and hurried for the garage.
At the hospital, I rushed into Bibi’s room to find her surrounded by nurses and a few doctors. She said something, and a round of laughter rippled through them. I was not laughing.
I pushed through the crowd and threw my arms around her neck.
“There, there, sweetheart. I’m going to be just fine.” She stroked my hair. “Everyone, this is my amazing, brilliant great-granddaughter, Shiloh.”
I straightened, conscious that we were surrounded. I pulled my sweater around me tighter, feeling naked and fragile after talking to Ronan last night. But Bibi was all that mattered.
The doctors dispersed, and one nurse told us she’d be back in a bit to help get Bibi ready for discharge.
“So you’re okay,” I said, dropping into a chair beside her.
“Oh, baby girl. You look so tired. Yes, I’m fine. The docs say my blood pressure is a tad on the low side. But they got me fixed right up with a new pill to add to my repertoire and some ugly old compression stockings they say I need to wear. On the bright side, Dr. Fenton tells me I need more salt in my diet. So what do you say ab
out getting some French fries when we clear out of here?”
“What were you arguing about with Mama?”
Her smile collapsed with a sigh. “Nothing important, I promise you.”
“But Bibi…”
“If I believed for one second that anything I could say would make you feel good, I would say it. But I told you, honey. She’d had too much to drink. It’s not worth giving another thought.”
I looked down at my hands, twisting in my lap. “There’s just so much I don’t know. I hate this feeling, like I’m being excluded from my own life.”
“I know.” She patted my cheek, then cocked her head, studying me.
“What?”
“I can’t see much, but I feel like there’s a new softness in your eyes.”
Ronan.
I sat back in my chair. “I’m just tired. Like you said. You being in the hospital will do that to a gal.”
“Are you sure that’s all?”
