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“But what does it feel like? The spark, I mean.”
I take a deep breath, staring out the window and into the harbor. It’s almost the beginning of summer; a beautiful spring day with blue skies and warm air on our barely-clad skin. Smiling wistfully into the speckles of water, my hands wander to the pendant resting on my chest.
“It’s like this shot of energy. It runs throughout your entire body. You feel sick, or so you think, but it’s the butterflies,” I reminisce in a low voice. “Your chest aches and you imagine what it would be like to feel this way for the rest of your life.”
Ava hops off the bed, moving toward me. “You must feel that way with Austin, still after all these years?”
My eyes briefly fall, only to lift moments later. “Austin is my best friend. We have this connection.”
“Connection, spark, is it not the same thing?”
I think about Ava’s question. How could I explain such a feeling? To experience it is never to forget.
?
?Everyone interprets it differently.”
“I’m overthinking things, aren’t I?” Letting out an annoyed huff, she continues, “How about pizza? I’m starved. I’ll grab one. The cute Aussie guy is working, and our banter is off the charts. You should come, see for yourself.”
I let out a laugh. “I’m fine, you go. I’ll expect you back sometime after midnight.”
Ava grabs her purse, offering again for me to join her in which I refuse. Once the door shuts, I grab my phone and sit out on the balcony, dialing Mom’s number.
“Hey honey, are you all settled in?”
“Still unpacking. Ava went to get pizza because the guy is hot, and she claims her banter with him is off the charts.”
Mom laughs through the receiver. “Your sister said that about the doorman in our building in Manhattan. Then made me stand around so I could judge whether or not it was.”
“Not Larry? He’s old enough to be our grandfather.”
“Larry’s grandson.” Mom chuckles. “I believe his name was Adam? I only remember because Ava mentioned how perfect it would be if they had babies and named them all with the letter A.”
I almost snort. “That sounds like Ava.”
We both continue to fall into a fit of laughter over Ava’s tragic dating life. She’s not one to settle down, nor look for chemistry or this so-called spark. Ava knows how to have fun without compromising her body like Kaylee.
My breathing begins to slow down as I come up for air.
“Mom?” I say, lowering my voice. “Ava said Will is back.”
“Yes, he is.”
My lips press together as I fidget with a loose fray of my denim shorts. I open my mouth to say something, only to close it again. After what happened years ago between Mom and me, I never want to destroy our relationship ever again and lie to her. But talking about Will is more difficult than I anticipated.
“And, um, how is he?”
There’s a short silence; Mom is choosing her words carefully.
“I’m not sure. Only your father has seen him.”
“Dad saw Will?” I ask, shocked. “When, where, what happened? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Millie,” Mom voices softly. “I wasn’t sure if you wanted to know given that you haven’t spoken two words about him. It was in London, about five months ago. Will was quite…how should I put it?”
“What, Mom? Just be honest with me. I can handle it.”
“Upset is probably the best word to use.”
