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She’s so tiny and fragile-looking, the smallest baby I’ve ever seen.
Inside the doctor’s arms, she’s taken away to the other side of the room, where an incubator is on standby.
The absence of the long-awaited cry stresses me out. My body shakes with tremors even in my state of exhaustion.
“Why isn’t the baby crying?” I panic, out of breath.
And then, a soft wail, barely audible inside a room full of people, is music to my ears.
Tears cascade down my cheeks, the salty taste mixing with my dry lips. With clouded eyes, I turn to gaze at Austin.
“I’m so proud of you,” Austin mouths, having never left my side throughout the whole birth. Even though he’s used to being a professional, not once did he abandon me. “I know that wasn’t easy.”
“A girl?” I ask with a croaky voice. “Can I hold her?”
Austin rubs my hand, still remaining calm. “She needs to go to the NICU. At thirty-four weeks, her lungs are still underdeveloped, so she will most likely need a ventilator.”
I nod through my tears, my emotions mixed with worry and relief she is here.
“Hey,” Austin calls softly. “It’s going to be okay. You did amazing.”
“But she’s so little. I should’ve done better to keep her safe inside me.”
With a deep sigh and soft expression, Austin strokes my hair. His simple touch calms my racing heartbeat, allowing me to control my erratic breathing.
“There’s nothing you could have done, Ava. She was meant to come early.”
“Dr. Carter?” A nurse calls from across the room. “We’re taking her to the NICU now.”
“Stay with her, please,” I beg of him, not wanting our baby to be alone. “I’ll feel better knowing you’re with her.”
“Are you sure?”
“Go,” I insist, managing a smile. “I’ll be fine, and Millie will be here soon anyway.”
“She’s outside. Do you want me to tell her to come in?”
I nod, then Austin kisses my hand, pulling away with a yearning look. The loss of contact aches, but it isn’t just about me anymore. Our baby needs him.
The nurses are still between my legs doing something I prefer not to ask exactly what. My head rests against the pillow when Millie peeks her head through the doorway. The moment my eyes fall upon her, I begin to cry again.
She rushes to my side. “Ava? What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know.” I gulp through my tears. “I’m scared. She’s so little, and that was the most terrifying thing I’ve ever been through.”
Millie grabs my hand, squeezing it tight. “Austin spoke to us for a moment. She’s going to the NICU, and you know what, she is going to be just fine. I saw her briefly when they wheeled her past.”
“How do you know she’s going to be okay?”
A smile graces Millie’s face. “She has the Edwards blood. Can you believe it, Ava? A girl.”
“A girl,” I murmur, still in disbelief.
“I can’t believe how fast she came. You were only in here for an hour. Austin mentioned how they tried to stop the contractions, but it was too late.”
Half-listening, I’m too tired to comprehend anything until Will comes to mind.
“Wait, where’s Will?”
