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There’s nothing worse than being woken up to the sound of a crying child. A sound so irritating you wish you could grab one of those heavy duty headphones to block the noise, similar to those used on an airport runway.
Comparing a crying baby to a plane should tell you how much I dislike children. Okay, maybe dislike is too strong of a word to use considering it’s my niece screaming down the house. Annoying? Yeah, that seems more fitting.
But who would have thought there’s something more annoying than the sound of a crying baby at five in the morning? There is—the constant movement of your bed from two kids jumping up and down relentlessly.
“Uncle Noah, wake up!”
I let out a frustrated moan, turning my back to them as the mattress moves underneath me. For fuck’s sake, the girls have a trampoline outside. A massive one, at that. To think of how many times I annoyed my mom in the same way when I was a kid. Karma is really late on delivering. She’s found me, stuck with me—and, of course, I’m a sexist, assuming karma is a she.
Pulling the covers over my head to block out the noise, my niece Amelia pulls it back off immediately. “You’re going to be late to work. Daddy says people who are late to work slow your business down and therefore create less productivity.”
For a five-year-old, this kid has way too many brain cells. Though Daddy does have a point, probably why he runs one of the top empires in the United States.
“Girls, as much as I love your morning wake-up calls, how about you give me five more minutes?” I offer nicely.
“That’s what you said yesterday, Uncle Noah,” Ava, my four-year-old niece, reminds me, placing her hands on her hips.
Argh! How can I resist their cute faces? It doesn’t help that I’m massively hungover from a club I hit last night with Erika and Ivana. Yes, I fucked the both of them. Yes, I do believe my dick is also hungover. I think I’ve only gotten two hours sleep, if that.
“I promise only five more minutes,” I beg kindly.
“Okay,” Ava says. “But I’m watching the cock!”
“Clock, Ava,” Amelia corrects her. “Cock is a rooster. Daddy always says to Mommy that she likes big roosters, remember?”
I snicker, realizing the girls are standing beside me, watching as I laugh with confused expressions on their faces. Amelia leans over, whispering into Ava’s ear, then pulls away as the both of them stare at me sternly.
“Five minutes, Uncle Noah. If you’re not up, watch out,” Amelia warns me.
They both jump off the bed and run out of the room, finally leaving me alone. I throw my head back into the pillow, drowning out a persistent headache.
Today, of all days, is the first day at my new job. Lex, Charlie’s husband, owns a publishing house in downtown LA. I haven’t worked in publishing, most of my career has focused on marketing, but he has an opening which seems like a good opportunity.
I’m not exactly strapped for cash. I sold my car and rented out my apartment until I decide if I want to move here permanently. I’ve managed to save some money over the years, even after our wild trips overseas. But even with the money I’ve saved, it’s insignificant compared to Lex’s and Charlie’s wealth.
They’re fucking millionaires, if not billionaires.
According to an article I read, Lex is one of the youngest self-made millionaires in the United States. Only yesterday, Charlie had taken me on a tour through the property. Acres of land with luscious gardens and a massive garage holding all their babies. My jaw had literally dropped to the ground when I saw the cars sitting in there. One of which, Charlie has offered to let me drive during my stay.
I feel on top of the world. Life just keeps getting better and better.
“Uncle Noah!” My name is yelled through the house, and before they get to me, I pull myself out of bed and make my way toward the kitchen, still dressed in my sweats and tee.
The aroma of pancakes lingers in the air, drawing my attention as I enter the kitchen. Charlie’s standing by the stove, pouring batter into the frying pan. Amelia and Ava are sitting at the table, tapping away on their iPads. My youngest niece, Addison, is sitting in her high chair, throwing cereal on the floor while Charlie cooks.
What a mess.
I kiss the top of Addison’s head, making a monkey sound while she laughs. In the last twenty-four hours, I’ve spent some time getting to know the girls, surprising even myself.
Charlie turns around, already dressed in a sharp black suit, and hands me a plate.
“Thanks, cuz.” I smile at her.
“So, first day at the office. Shouldn’t you be changed already?”
“It’s only seven o’clock. Relax, Mom.”
Charlie rolls her eyes, moving around the stove before turning it off. She takes a seat across the table, handing a pancake to Addison.
