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I wipe away the tear escaping her eyes. “I know you’re scared, Charlie, but just because you can’t see her doesn’t mean your life is over. Tell me something else, tell me about your happy place?”
It’s a textbook question—positive thoughts lead to a positive outcome.
“Lex is my happy place… Lex and Amelia. They are my family. They are my reason for living. Amelia started playgroup with my nephew, Andy, a few days ago. She loves the interaction with the kids so much. Lex was upset that she just walked away from us… not even a wave or a backward glance.” She lets out the smallest of laughs. “He’s so good with her. I never doubted for a moment that he’d be a good father, but to see with my own eyes how much he loves her? I could have a dozen more kids. I love him so much. I don’t want to leave him alone in this world…” She sobs, and there’s no stopping her.
“Charlie, you won’t. We’ll get through this, and before you know it, you’ll be back in his arms and back at home with your family,” I say the words, stunned at my selfless act, confused where it’s coming from.
“Julian… I’m sorry…”
“Shh, Charlie. Think about your future. Think about your family.”
As I continue to talk, she lets out a terrified scream. “The baby is coming…”
“Charlie, look at me,” I beg.
Her chocolate-brown eyes stare back at me, rasping breaths follow as her moaning becomes louder. I want to erase her pain, take it all away and bring back the beautiful, strong, and confident Charlie I’ve grown to know and love.
I want to see her smile.
I want to see a glow spread over her face.
And there’s nothing more I want than for her to make more happy memories.
Even if it’s without me.
I have to be honest, she needs to help me help her, or chances are this baby and Charlie won’t survive.
“There’s a chance you may have the baby, but I promise you, I’ll do everything I can to help you, okay?”
She is breathing heavily, and I can see she’s writhing in pain. I open the bottle and hand it to her to drink. She takes small sips but lets out a loud cry as another contraction hits.
“I need to… need to push…” she stutters.
“Charlie, I know this isn’t how you imagined having this baby. But I need you to focus—”
My words are cut off as her scream echoes through the night, the wildlife terrified, all flying the coop. I hold her hand, not knowing what the fuck I need to do. Okay, remember when Josie was in the hospital? No, moron, you were in the waiting room and were only twelve years old. Fuck, honestly.
“Julian… I feel the head…”
Even in the cool night, the sweat is dripping off my forehead. I position myself between her legs. Babies come out of vaginas, right? Where else do they come out of, moron? It’s not like I haven’t seen her before. Oh my God, shut up, head!
“Okay, Charlie. I’m ready if you need to push, okay? I have a blanket here. And squeeze my hand if you need to.”
Charlie grabs my hand and squeezes so damn hard I feel my knuckles crack. She sucks in air, then lets out a loud wail followed by a tiny whimper. I look down and feel my eyes bulge out in disbelief.
Holy fuck, it’s a baby’s head.
“Okay, Charlie, one more push. You can do this. I see the head.”
My heart is pounding in my chest, but I try to ignore it, slowing down my breathing remembering what I need to do. With silent prayers, I pray to the Lord above to bless Charlie and this child with a full life ahead of them. Should he need to take someone, take me, I’m not worthy of being here.
There’s no warning. She grabs on tight again, and this time I focus on the baby, trying to guide it out gently with my spare hand. Charlie leans her head forward, squeezing my hand so tight while releasing a gut-wrenching scream. My hand barely catches the baby, the speed of which surprises me as the baby lets out ragged cries. Quickly, I wrap it up while Charlie stares at the tiny baby in awe. I see Charlie’s eyes flutter, causing my familiar panic to reappear.
The blood.
The screaming.
The umbilical cord is still attached.
