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The girls look at each other confused, then focus their attention back on me. Eric is tapping his fingers on the tabletop with an annoying beat.
“What do you mean, you haven’t met her? I thought that was today,” Charlie expresses with disappointment.
“She was tied up with some movie shoot. We met her assistant instead.”
“Argh, movie stars. So unpredictable,” Eric complains.
“This is so exciting,” Charlie squeals, changing her tune. “Can you imagine if you marry her? You’ll be Mr. Winters. And imagine the guestlist at the wedding? It’ll be like an episode of Dynasty.”
“What the hell is Dynasty?” Both Eric and I say out loud.
“Never mind. Not a TV show from your generation. Something my mom used to watch,” Charlie rambles on. “I could be related to Scarlett Winters. She could end up being my BFF, which would bring me closer to Leonardo DiCaprio because they star in that new movie together. It’s like six degrees of separation.”
“What exactly do you think will happen if you meet Leonardo DiCaprio?” Lex questions her, jealous, and clearly not impressed by her enthusiasm.
Charlie grins. “Two words for you, baby… Hall. Pass.”
“So, what happens to me, your original BFF?” Eric asks with a slight hurt expression.
“One problem at a time,” Charlie huffs. “You’re the OG. You’ll never be replaced, so chill the hell out, drama queen.”
Lex mumbles something which prompts a mini argument, and to stop the pettiness, I throw in my two cents.
“Listen, can you guys seriously lay off the marriage talk?” I warn them. “You’re jumping the gun a little, don’t you think? Plus, do we even know if she’s single?”
“According to her Glamorous Stars interview, she’s single. She just broke up with that guy, the one who was photographed naked in Cabo and hung like a horse,” Charlie informs us, spreading her hands to measure the length. Thank God, the girls are busy playing in their toy room.
“Oh,” Eric mouths, followed by a cheer. “Hung, like hung?”
“Hung,” Charlie drags out with her eyes wide open.
Lex stops the conversation. “Will the two of you stop saying hung? I’ve completely lost my appetite.”
I nod, agreeing with Lex. The image alone is disturbing. Is this what women really talk about? Again, the only woman I spend a lot of time with is my mom. If she spoke about hung horses, I think I’d send myself to a mental institution.
“Interesting,” I voice curiously. “So, Scarlett just broke up with a hung horse, which means the next guy she’s with will be somewhat of a rebound. I thought I was supposed to stop prowling for the broken-hearted?”
“This doesn’t count. It’s Scarlett Winters,” Charlie repeats. “This is where your experience will come in handy. Sure, she may be looking for a rebound, but why not turn that rebound into something more?”
How convenient for Charlie. It wasn’t long ago she was all up in my business about my past, but now, she’s encouraging me to fall back into my bad habits for the sake of finding true love. I feel like a pawn in their sick and twisted game.
“Uh, are you forgetting the deal?” Kate interrupts, lifting her head from her cell.
“No,” I groan. “The deal is to find someone to settle down with. It doesn’t have to involve marriage. De facto relationships are up fifteen percent in the last year.”
Both Charlie and Kate stare back at me with confused faces.
“It’s true,” Lex intervenes, his eyes diverting from his cell.
Thanks. The lifejacket—five minutes too late.
“I don’t even know where to begin with that.” Charlie shakes her head. “Of all the facts you can retain in your head, it’s the percentage increase in de facto relationships? Yet, when it comes to the car keys, you have no idea where you’ve placed them.”
“That’s because car keys have these tiny legs like a robot and move when you put them somewhere,” Lex states seriously, shortly after breaking out into a silly smile.
“Do you see who I married?” Charlie says, laughing, grabbing his chin and bringing his face close to hers.
Ugh, honestly, these two are so in love it’s sickening.
