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I begged myself to calm down when I figured out they were still fucking each other. Then, after our weekend together, and seeing him laced with jealousy at the ball, I knew it wouldn’t be long before he tried to summon her back.
He texted, he called—all the while she was with me. I lost my patience that night, our heated discussion sending her running to him, or so I thought. She promised me nothing happened, and it’s taken every fiber in my being to trust her. Kate has always known her worth. It’s what I’ve always admired about her.
But even I’ll admit, I’m barely hanging on by a thread. Zero control and the seed of jealousy plant into the pit of my soul. She’s so far away. I can’t even see her or tell her how I really feel.
“Does he know you have kids?” I blurt out, unapologetically.
“Yes, he knows about Michael. In fact, he has met Michael along with Wyatt. I’d really like him to meet Jessa.”
My head jerks up, rage pulsing through my veins. “So what? He can replace me as her dad?”
“Noah, that’s not what… you know what? I knew your jealousy would get the better of you. We’re over. You made sure of that the moment you fucked some whore of a stewardess,” she concedes in anger.
“No, Morgan, you made sure of that the moment you sent me divorce papers. All you’ve done is blame me like this is all my fault. Well, guess what? We both fucked up our marriage. And the only one who will truly suffer is Jessa. So, the answer is no, he can’t fucking meet my daughter.”
“Don’t threaten me, Noah,” she charges, her face reddening. “If you want to play nasty, then so will I.”
“It’s nothing new. You’ve been doing it our whole marriage.”
She directs her cold eyes at me. “Leave my house now. You’ll see Jessa when I say so.”
“You have no right holding my daughter back from me!” I jump off the stool while banging my fist on the countertop. “I don’t care who you fuck or spread your legs for. I don’t care if you fuck a whole army, she’s my daughter, and I’ll see her when I damn well please.”
I grab my keys, leaving Morgan in the kitchen, and slam the door behind me.
Inside my car, I roar the engine, speeding to Charlie’s place with my windows wide open and music blaring to drown out Morgan’s threat. When I reach their house, my Bluetooth rings, and I see Kate’s number appear, answering with a blunt hello.
“Noah, I don’t like the way we ended things tonight. I’m sorry I told you, or perhaps not sorry I told you, but sorry I didn’t communicate the actual conversation correctly. But I’m calling just to make sure you’re okay after meeting with Morgan,” she offers, her tone genuine and non-argumentative.
“Sure, I guess,” I respond flatly.
“And? What happened?”
I pinch the bridge of my nose, willing the anger to calm the fuck down. “She’s seeing someone.”
“Oh.” Her voice softens, instantly soothing me. “I understand, Noah. You love her, and now there’s someone else.”
My anger comes back two-fold when I tell her she can’t possibly understand. How can I look at my child and love her with all my being but regret the fact that I chose Morgan over someone who meant so much more to me years ago?
I fucked up. I let go of my best friend, and my stupid heart knows exactly that.
“Well, then enlighten me?” she answers, rudely.
I couldn’t hold back any longer, telling her exactly how I felt and how she consumed my thoughts.
“Noah,” she stutters as the ache spreads through me by the simple gesture of saying my name. “Nothing is going on right now.”
She’s still fucking him. I can hear it every time she hesitates.
“Right now.” I laugh to numb the pain.
“Why are you hell-bent on thinking I’m lying?” she questions angrily.
“Because you hesitate every fucking time!” I slam my fist on the steering wheel, willing this vicious cycle to stop.
“I hesitate because you’re sensitive or, should I say, temperamental when this subject is raised.”
“And have you ever stopped to wonder why?” I beg.
