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“What do you want me to do? I get several calls from Morgan accusing me of being in a romantic relationship with you. She thinks we’re getting married and having a kid. Then she tells me you said Jessa is a liar.”
“Believe what you want to believe. This is exactly what I was afraid of.”
“She’s her mother. You can’t possibly understand what’s that like.” The second it leaves his lips, I bow my head to stop the pain from consuming me whole.
“You’re right. I’ll never understand what it’s like to be a mother. But I understand what it’s like to love someone, be honest, and treat people with respect. I’ve only wanted the best for you, Noah, always, and you can believe whoever you want to believe. I didn’t sign up for this. In fact, I’ve been avoiding exactly this. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to leave.”
I close my laptop, not even shutting it down and pulling the cord out of the wall. Walking in silence, he continues to stare at me without a word.
“So, you’re leaving to go back to Paris?”
I carry my laptop in my arms, staring at him with a pained gaze. “The crazy thing is, Noah, I was willing to wait for you. Just like you asked.”
“And now, what?” His tone is unforgiving and fueled with animosity. “You’ll run back to him?”
“I’m not going to chase heartbreak, Noah, with you or Dominic.”
I never claimed to be wise with my heart, but I do recognize it breaking into a million pieces. Swallowing the lump inside my throat, I try to escape the man who has held me hostage with just his penetrating stare.
“I’d rather be on my own.”
KATE
Arriving back in Paris brings on a different wave of emotions.
A place, once so pure and beautiful in my eyes, now brings nothing but loneliness. It seems like everywhere I look, people are living their best lives. Laughter fills the streets, and couples walk hand in hand, gazing lovingly at each other with the spontaneous kisses to show their affection.
My resentment grows deeper, and patience wears thin. I no longer smile at strangers nor offer to step aside in a crowded street. Flowers bring little joy, the bunches which sit in buckets on the sidewalk seem like a ploy to get people to buy happiness. All of these things, combined, make Paris seem like the most miserable place on Earth.
My life is supposed to have been sorted by now. None of this was meant to happen. I’ve protected myself for as long as I could, avoiding exactly this—heartbreak.
And every part of me aches for a man, someone across an entire ocean, someone who has always been my safety net and held onto me when I’d lost my way.
The very man who used my insecurities against me, against us.
The heartache follows me wherever I go, never genuinely leaving my mind until momentarily I forget because someone else demands my attention. But then it hits me like a bolt of lightning, ferocious and unapologetic, always leading back to Noah.
In a city known as the romance capital of the world, my heart has become an open wound, but life, like always, forces me to move on.
There’s no time to dwell on anything with everyone demanding my time. Once again, my absence causes additional stress, and as soon as the plane touches the tarmac, my phone hasn’t stopped. Texts and emails to meetings scheduled every moment I have spare, to last-minute business trips to London and Rome over the next week. I’ve fallen back into the lifestyle I’ve known, but the loneliness will find me each night I lie wide awake, wishing this pain to disappear.
I arrive at the office at seven in the morning. Sleep barely found me last night, three hours to be exact. I woke up with no appetite but managed to eat something small and opted for intense cardio instead of my usual yoga.
“Kate,” Emile calls my name as she stands at my door with a sympathetic gaze. “Permettez à votre cœur de ressentir la douleur. Alors vous saurez s’il vaut la peine de se batter.”
Allow my heart to feel the pain. Then you’ll know if it’s worth fighting for.
The words repeat in my head, yet tha
t’s all I’ve thought since the moment I left the States. Every ounce of my pain is because of him. I feel like I’ve been fighting this uphill battle. Noah leads a complicated life, and me being with him doesn’t fit the equation no matter how many times I run it through my head. Nothing adds up, and I’m not one to believe in signs, but I take this as the hazardous yellow sign staring me in the face.
I no longer want to discuss this, tired of the vicious cycle my emotions are caught up in. Misery really does love company, so I tell Emile to mark me as unavailable while I walk into the boardroom and close the door behind me. Only Charlie has called me repeatedly, but I told her the discussion is closed. There’s nothing left to say, even to Eric, who I hold back from contacting since our heated fallout over Dominic.
Boredom finds me once again, this meeting a waste of time. The CFO rambles on about numbers, his voice alone putting me to sleep. His team is starting to piss me off, and it will be only a matter of time before I let this moron go. He rose in the ranks thanks to management before I stepped in. I can see through his immaturity and his narcissistic behavior. He lacks any management style, and it shows in his turnover in staff. The rambling and pathetic excuses for budget restraints last five hours. By the time they all leave the room, Lex remains on the line wanting to talk further.
“Are you prepared for London on Monday? Jerry can be quite a shark but don’t let him deter you during the meeting,” Lex informs me.
Great, just what I need. Another man with a small dick trying to control the world around him.
