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With that, Noah storms out the door with Henley trailing behind him. She spins around to look at Tully with a grin the size of Texas on her face. “Remind me to thank you after this,” she laughs excitedly before winking and having Noah tug on her arm, making her fall out the door.
“Oh! For the record,” Tully calls after them. “I don’t want to hear about this tomorrow.”
The door is closed and I’m left gaping at my girl. “What the hell was that? You realize you’ll have absolutely no way of knowing if they actually go through with this dare. I taught you better than that.”
A flush takes over her cheeks as she reaches out and takes my hand once again. “I, um…actually did it on purpose.”
My brows dip low. “What are you talking about?”
Tully winces. “I wanted to get rid of them for a while so we could talk and I figured that sex was the only thing that would keep them distracted long enough. Besides, if they actually go through with it, I’ll be set up with decent blackmail for the rest of my life.”
“You realize that he’s going to get you back so much worse.”
“Let him try,” she laughs. “The old Tully is back and I’m betting there’s not a lot he can do to take me down.”
“That’s my fucking girl,” I grin, pulling on her hand and hauling her up onto my lap until she straddles me.
Tully looks down at me and something morphs within her. The cocky attitude that she was using with her brother dissipates into nothing and all that’s left behind is fear. I can’t help but reach up and tuck a stray lock of hair behind her ear in my need to touch her. Tully’s head falls into my hand and I look up into her big green eyes. “What is it?” I murmur, needing to know what’s going on in her mind.
“I’ve been making the past three weeks a living hell for you when I should have been inviting you in.”
“Babe,” I sigh, not wanting her to feel guilt over the past three weeks.
“No, just…listen, ok?” I nod and she takes a deep breath before slowly letting it out. “Every time I’ve seen you since being home, I’ve done nothing but push you away. You scare me, Rivers. You hold the power to destroy me and you very well nearly did. I’ve been terrified of letting you back in knowing that if you were to leave again, I…I wouldn’t be able to make it. Not again.” Tears start filling her eyes and I’m wiping them away before they even have the chance to fall. “I’ve kept you at arm’s length, but every time you come near me, it’s even harder to keep you away. You make me feel things that no other man has ever made me feel. Over the past few years, I’ve felt weak because I haven’t been able to move on from the one guy who broke me. I’ve felt like a fraud allowing Spencer to get so close, and I’ve felt like a liar telling everyone that I’ve been fine when in reality, I’ve been anything but.”
I pull her in closer and wrap my arms around her. “I never intended to hurt you.”
“It’s taken me until the other night to truly understand that,” she tells me. “When you told me about your life with your father, I realized how selfish I’d been begging you to tell me all those years. I should have just let you go.”
“No, you shouldn’t. You cared enough to want to know the real me. No one else has ever cared like that and I was wrong. I should have opened up to you while I had the chance, but I was scared that you weren’t going to love me when you realize what I’d done.”
“How could I have not loved you?” she cries as her eyes fill with love. “You’re everything to me. You always have been. You’re the strongest man I know and for the first time in four years, I feel alive. I’m done holding back, Rivers. I want you back in my life. I miss you every fucking day, I just don’t know how to do it without keeping myself guarded. I want to trust you and I don’t want to be scared that one day you’re just going to take off, but I can’t. It’s always in the back of my head and I don’t know how to get past that.”
Tully’s forehead falls to mine. “I promise you, Tullz. I’m not going anywhere. I’m in this for the long haul, but I get it. I’ve shut you out one too many times and pushed you away and now you need to learn how to trust me again and that’s ok. I’ll give you all the time in the world.”
