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He’s not the teenage boy that I once knew. He’s a man now and despite him being larger than life at nineteen, he seems to be so much more now. He’s just as much a mystery, but something tells me he’s a completely different mystery than the one he was before.
He looks taller, bigger, and broader, and damn, does it look good on him. My knees are weak and I’m struggling to make it down the aisle.
Just a few more steps to go.
Those wicked eyes of his remain on mine, silently begging for forgiveness and it’s too much. Way too much. I tear my eyes away, unable to cope with the emotional trauma. My eyes come to a stop on Noah, hoping he’ll be able to offer me something to help me down the rest of this aisle, but when they get to him, all I see is pity.
It’s then I glance across at Spencer. In fact, it’s then I remember Spencer.
Shit. I must be an awful person. Here we are at this moment and all Spencer would ever want is to watch me watching him as I walk down the aisle, instead, he’s just watched me with my eyes glued to another man, that man being Rivers of all people.
Spencer’s whole body is tense, his jaw clenched, and his hands balled into fits. As my eyes meet his, I see accusation after accusation. He had assumed something was wrong earlier and instead of being open and honest about Rivers being back, I kept it quiet. I should have told him, but instead he was most likely blindsided just as I was. I was too busy thinking about myself and the hurt in his eye tells me that he’s not too impressed with me right now.
My heart breaks for him and I send a silent apology his way. The look on my face has Rivers whipping his gaze around to Spencer. He looks between us both for a brief moment and it takes him all of three seconds to figure out that I didn’t spend the past four years waiting for him. I moved on and I swear, I have never seen another human look so crushed in my life.
Great. Now they’re both hurt, but only one of them has the right to be. Rivers told me to move on so he can’t be pissed off that I did.
Having Rivers know that I’ve been with someone else all this time is almost like having your boyfriend discover you’ve been cheating. The thought of him being hurt over this cuts me, but it shouldn’t. I’ve done absolutely nothing wrong and it’s not like Rivers was ever mine in the first place.
This freaking sucks. I can’t wait for the reception. I’m going to clean the bar out and drown in my sorrows, hopefully avoiding anyone with a penis, including Noah.
How fucking long is this aisle? It’s only a handful of steps from the top to the bottom, but it feels like it’s been a lifetime.
I tune all three boys out and keep my gaze on Ari. She looks gorgeous. She’s ten years old and is quickly turning into a beautiful young woman with amazing qualities and morals. She’s going to be nothing like Henley and I were. She’s going places much further than we are and I’m so glad she’s been able to learn from our mistakes.
I take my place beside her and turn my gaze to the end of the aisle as the guests stand for the bride.
Henley walks down with her arm looped through her father’s and tears in her eyes. My heart swells, finally for all the right reasons. I couldn’t be happier for the two of them. They’re so crazy in love that it’s nauseating.
Noah was heading down a bad road dating girls like bitchy high school cheerleaders. He nearly learned that lesson in a life-changing way which is when Henley came along and changed the game, setting the bar for the rest of us.
I hope one day that I can have something like that. Well really, I’ve been with Spencer for three years and I’m doing my best but sometimes the feelings aren’t quite there. Don’t get me wrong, I really like the guy and I certainly have love for him. He’s sweet and caring and always puts my needs first. He’s the perfect boyfriend and every day I fall for him just a little bit more, but it’s been a long road and given enough time, maybe another few years, we might just make it over the finish line
Henley takes Noah’s hands at the end of the aisle and the rest is history. I forget about Rivers and I forget about Spencer despite both their eyes remaining solely on me.
I watch the ceremony and tear up as they say their vows. I don’t think I have ever witnessed anything quite so beautiful, but then it all comes to an end and they start making their way back up the aisle as husband and wife, making my world come crashing down around me once again.
