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She knew she wanted to tell him all about discovering she had a father and sister, but wasn’t sure what words to use without making her mom sound bad. Which she wasn’t. She was just a woman who loved really deeply.
“I will not be able to make the trip to California this week.”
Her heart fell. She really needed to see him. “Oh.”
“I am sorry, but perhaps it is for the best.”
“For the best?”
“The more time we spend together, the more attached we become.”
“That’s a bad thing?” She rubbed her temples. She was awake, right? Only this felt like a really disturbing dream.
“Considering the fact that I must go to Prague in five days and will be there an indefinite period of time, yes.”
“But…”
“I know our association hasn’t lasted as long as either of us would like.”
Association? He was calling the incredible relationship developing between them anassociation? She needed him like the other half of her soul and he was talking like he didn’t need her at all. Like the week in Spain had meant nothing.
“I don’t…” Like both her sister and her mom—when faced with emotions too heavy to bear, she ran out of words.
He had plenty for both of them. “The truth,querida? I suspect it would take months to get my fill of you, but we did not have months and I am truly sorry about that.”
He was sorry? Pain was coalescing inside her andhe was sorry? She wanted to scream, but she forced out a question. “You don’t want to try to maintain our relationship long distance?”
“It would not be fair to either of us.”
He had not just said that. Finding out her mom was not her biological mother, that she had a sister and father she hadn’t known her whole life…those things were not fair. Getting her heart ripped out by the man she loved…that was not fair, but trying to make a long distance relationship work? What was so unfair about that? “Why not?”
He made a strange noise, but when he spoke his voice was even. “Your career is taking off. You will be very busy. Trying to work a long distance association would put an unnecessary strain on you.”
“I’m willing.” It hurt to say the words, pricked at her pride, but there were more important things than pride.
“It’s too much,querida, surely you see that?”
No, she didn’t, but then she didn’t think it was all about her. Maybe not about her at all. “You said it wouldn’t be fair to both of us.”
“I am not keen on a cerebral relationship and that is all it could be for months, maybe longer.”
“You mean you don’t want to do without sex.”
“Yes, but I do not think I am the only one this will be an issue for now. Now that your desires have awakened, they will not go back to sleep.”
“You bastard.”
He sucked in an audible breath. “Amber, we both went into our time together with open eyes.”
“Apparently yours saw things mine didn’t.”
“You said yourself you were not ready for anything permanent.”
Had she said that? Probably at one point. “Things change.”
“I a
m sorry.”
