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‘Perhaps not,’ he conceded. ‘But I’m listening now.’ He straightened his cuffs. ‘However, it is time we went down to the receiving line. Our guests will be arriving at any moment.
‘Of course. But Father...’ Alexa mulled over her next words. ‘I know you don’t feel that I’m able to do this job alone, but I’m going to prove you wrong. I will make a worthy Queen of Berenia in Sol’s stead.’
Her father stopped and frowned at her. ‘I’ve never thought you incapable of being anything but an incredible leader of our people. But this is a lonely job, Alexa. It will be harder for you to find a suitable spouse once you become Queen, and I don’t want you to rule alone. It’s too hard.’
Her father’s lined face turned weary and Alexa’s heart jumped in alarm. ‘Father—’
‘I’m fine. Just... I miss your mother. And never more so than when you are opposite me looking as beautiful as she once was.’
‘But I never knew that was how you felt.’
A faint smile twisted her father’s lips. ‘Why do you think I never remarried? There was no one to replace her. And I didn’t want that for you. Rightly or wrongly, I didn’t want you or Sol to become so attached to anyone that losing them would make you feel this empty.’
‘Hence the reason you changed our nannies and tutors so often,’ she said, finally understanding the logic behind that decision.
‘I wanted you both to become more resilient than I felt at the time. Stronger. But you were hurt by love anyway, and then we lost Sol. I felt like I had failed you both.’
‘Father—’
‘Let me finish.’ He grimaced as if explaining such deeply emotional issues was akin to having his skin flayed from his body. ‘I thought that if I could force you to make a practical match it would save you from unnecessary heartache in the future. I can see that I was gravely mistaken about that. But finding you a life match was never about your capability to do your job. I hope you believe that.’
Alexa’s stomach clenched tight. ‘I don’t know what to say.’
‘There is nothing to say. You should have a strong man by your side to support you. And I hoped that Prince Rafaele would be that man.’
So had she. Or at least she had come to think that way. But while he was a very strong and compassionate man, he wasn’t her strong and compassionate man. He might never be anyone’s, given his need for independence and freedom from obligation.
Which was all she knew. Obligation and duty. Would those dual requirements always have to take precedence over love?
A lump lodged in her throat, threatening to defeat her composure once more, and once more she pushed it back. ‘Shall we go?’
‘Yes. It is time.’
Three hours later Alexa knew that if she didn’t sit down very soon she would likely fall down.
The head cold she’d been fighting made it hard to focus on the group currently discussing the merits of trade taxes and border control.
Offering to email one of their party some of the ideas her team had come up with on tax reform, Alexa made her excuses and was considering going to find a dark room to hole up in when her eyes snagged on a figure in black at the entrance to the ballroom.
Unable to believe that it was really Rafe, the hairs on the back of her neck rose when his eyes found her.
His expression was grim, his clothes as beautifully cut as they had been the night at the Children’s Charity ball. But there was a wildness to him, and she realised that he hadn’t shaved, giving him an even more dangerous edge than usual.
The guests he would have bowled over if they hadn’t moved out of his way thought so too, their curious glances turning to wary alertness as they quickly moved out of his way.
Alexa only noticed them peripherally, her whole being focused entirely on Rafe.
He stopped directly in front of her, his frown darkening. ‘Your hair is up.’
‘Yes.’ A wave of dizziness at having him standing in front of her made her instinctively reach out for him.
Rafe swore under his breath, taking hold of her elbow. ‘And you’re unwell.’
Shaking off her initial shock, Alexa cleared her throat, easing her arm out of his hold. ‘Just a head cold. But you look...’ Gorgeous. Commanding. And so desirable she wanted to throw herself into his arms and never let go. It seemed so unfair when she felt like death warmed up. ‘Almost like your usual self.’
‘I haven’t been my usual self since we met, Princess,’ he answered cryptically. ‘That aside, I’m taking you out of here.’
Seriously rattled to have him here, Alexa shook her head. ‘I can’t leave yet. The speec
