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‘That’s not strictly true, ya amar.’ He gave her a small smile. ‘I do believe in it. I just didn’t think I needed it.’ He took her trembling hands and drew her to her feet. ‘The thing is, Regan, I’m hopeless when it comes to emotions. All my life it’s been easier to shut down than to expose myself to pain. If you don’t feel anything you don’t hurt.’ He gave a sharp laugh as if the concept was ludicrous to him now. ‘It was that simple. I thought it made me stronger. I convinced myself a long time ago that I didn’t need love in my life—I even thought I wasn’t able to feel it—but I was wrong. I just didn’t realise how wrong until I lost you.’
‘You didn’t lose me,’ Regan said softly, stepping closer to him. ‘I only left because I thought you didn’t want me.’
He shook his head. ‘Not want you? I can’t stop wanting you.’
‘Then why did you always find it so easy to turn away from me?’
‘Practice. But I’m sick of practising walking away. It’s what both my parents did my whole life and I didn’t even know I’d taken on that part of them until you left. Now I want to practise staying put. I want to practise being open. I want to practise being in love. With you.’
Regan smiled so wide her cheeks hurt. ‘You do?’
‘I do.’ A slow smile started on his face. ‘Will you have me, habiba, flaws and all?’
‘Only if you’ll have me, flaws and all.’
‘You have none.’
Regan laughed. ‘Now I know you really do love me because I have loads.’
He swung her into his arms, his head coming down to hers for a desperate, heated kiss. ‘I’ve missed you, habiba. Tell me you’ve missed me too.’
‘Oh, Jag, I have.’ Happiness swelled inside her chest. ‘I really have.’
‘Regan, ya amar...’ He kissed her again. Harder. Deeper. ‘I love you, so much.’
Regan stared at him dreamily. ‘I can’t really believe it.’
‘Believe it, habiba. Do you remember that photo you took of me with Arrow? The one in the desert?’
‘Yes.’
‘You asked me what I was thinking when you took it and I told you that I didn’t remember.’ He smoothed her hair back from her face. ‘Ask me again.’
‘What were you thinking?’ she asked dreamily.
‘I was thinking how happy I was being in the desert with you. I was thinking that I couldn’t remember ever being that happy before.’
Regan couldn’t contain her joy and didn’t try. ‘I was thinking the exact same thing. You looked so magnificent I couldn’t take my eyes off you.’
Jag dragged her mouth back to his, his hands skating over her back, holding her tightly. Finally he lifted his head, groaning with the effort. ‘I want forever with you, habiba. Can you give me that, even though it means you’ll be the centre of everyone’s attention for ever and a day?’
‘Jag, I could give you anything at all as long as I’m the centre of your attention.’
‘Habiba, you already are. You’re the centre of my world.’
EPILOGUE
MILENA STOOD BEHIND Regan and adjusted the train on her ivory wedding dress.
‘You look so beautiful,’ she murmured, misty-eyed.
Regan smiled, unable to believe that today was her wedding day. ‘Thank you. I feel so nervous and I don’t know why.’
‘Bridal nerves,’ Milena said, smoothing down her own rose-gold gown. ‘But you don’t have to worry about my brother. You’ve transformed him. I’ve never seen him so happy and it fills my heart with joy.’
‘He makes me happy too. These past three months of being with him have given me more happiness than I could have ever hoped to feel.’
More than she had ever expected to feel. For so many years she had put her own needs aside and, although she would never regret any of those years, being with Jag had made her truly blossom. She gazed at the solid-gold bracelet on her wrist that he had given her as a pre-wedding present. The jeweller had inlaid a photo of her parents on their wedding day and she stroked a finger across their smiling faces. ‘Thank you,’ she murmured. ‘For loving me and in the process showing me how to love in turn.’
