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Ty sighed. “I know. And I know you’re not going to take any risks. Rationally, I know the odds of you getting hurt or losing the baby are slim. I just can’t help but worry you will, constantly. So I overreact when I see something as little as being half a foot off the ground while you look at the pigs.”
They were both quiet for a moment as Parker thought. So much made sense now. She would try not to get so exasperated with him in the future when he freaked out again. And he would freak out again. She’d bet anything he would.
She thought his reluctance to get intimate again made sense now, too, and she tried to push away the sense of loss she felt. She’d never really had him to lose in the first place.
“So what you’re saying is that you still love Cassie. That’s why you don’t want to take things further between us again.”
Ty’s head whipped around as he looked at her in surprise. “What? No. I mean, a part of me will always love Cassie. But I accepted that she wasn’t mine, would never be mine, a long time ago. It hurt when I saw her and Jared together, sure, but I had made my peace with it. For the most part,” he added wryly. “I did almost kill Jared when she died. I thought it was his fault, that if she had been with me, that never would have happened. I was arrogant in my belief of that. I thought I would have taken better care of her. I’m learning now, after being with you for the last few days, that he did his best. That he was more hurt by her passing than I was. You couldn’t have told me that four years ago, though. Or even a year ago. I’ve spent so much time being hurt and bitter and furious with Jared. Anyway, that’s beside the point. What I was trying to say was that yes, a part of me will always love her. She was my best friend for going on fifteen years. I’ve realized, though, that for a while, even before she died, my love for her was that of a friend. Not a lover, or wannabe lover.”
Parker took that in, relief and confusion warring inside her. Relief to know that she wasn’t in true competition with a perfect ghost, and confusion because she still wasn’t sure what was stopping him.
“You say you don’t know how to talk about your emotions, but you’re doing a pretty good job right now,” she said jokingly, trying to relieve a bit of the tension in the room.
He huffed a laugh. “You’re not fe
eling it from this side of the room.”
Parker smiled. “Okay, so, Cassie’s not it. Why the hesitation, then?”
Ty rubbed a hand over his face. “Because I don’t want to hurt you. Ever, Parker. You’re too important.”
Parker’s heart warmed even as she frowned. “Hurt me how? Because you don’t want a commitment?”
“No, that’s not it, not really. If I was ever going to commit to a woman, it would be you. I mean… physically. I don’t want to hurt you or the baby.”
“By having sex?” Parker asked, half in disbelief.
“I’m a lot bigger than you are, Parker. And even stronger than I look. I could do it unthinkingly. I could get too rough. I’m not a gentleman or gentle by nature, and I could get too rough by accident.”
“You did just fine last time.”
“You weren’t pregnant last time. What’s that they say about pregnant women? That they’re in a delicate condition? Delicate things need treated with delicacy, and I’m not sure I’m capable of that.”
Parker snorted. “That’s bullshit, Ty. I’m not delicate. You’re not going to hurt me or the baby if we have sex. I don’t need you to be gentle, but even if I did, I know you could be. You would never do anything that might hurt me, whether I was pregnant or not.”
“You don’t understand--.”
Parker put her hand on his mouth, cutting him off. “I understand the kind of man you are, Ty. The kind of man who worries over whether I eat, the kind of man that won’t even let me carry a bag of toiletries inside, is never going to do something that might hurt me, baby or not.”
Ty reached up, grabbing her hand and placing a lingering, scorching kiss in her palm, before lowering it to his lap and not letting it go. “You really believe that? You have that much faith in me?”
“Of course I do, Ty,” she said softly. “I just wish you had that much faith in yourself.”
Ty looked at her for a moment, a struggle going on in his eyes that she wasn’t sure she understood. Finally, he reached up and slowly removed her glasses. Parker’s breath hitched as he leaned past her to set them on the bedside table. Straightening up, he framed her face with his hands and searched her eyes before leaning in and ever so slowly sipping at her lips.
The feel of his hands gently cupping her face and his lips softly brushing hers made Parker’s heart melt. He kept the kiss slow and soft for long moments, and even through the sweetest sensations she’d ever known, Parker felt her body coming alive with tingles. This man’s touch, his kisses, were magical. Every time so far had been, and every time, it only felt more so.
He increased the intensity and pressure of the kiss in slow increments, and Parker felt her blood boiling hotter when every sweep of his tongue against her lips. She opened for him, letting him in as her hands reached up and tangled in his hair.
The slow pace was driving her insane, but it was the sweetest torture she’d ever known.
He lifted his mouth from hers, placing tender kisses down her jaw and back again before he pulled back to look into her eyes.
“Are you sure about this, Parker? This feels important to me, and I need to know you feel it, too. That you’re sure you want to do this, even knowing that.”
Parker’s heart stopped for a moment as she searched his eyes. That he thought this was big too was huge, and almost unbelievable. It seemed like he really did want her, and for more than just the baby she carried.
“I’m absolutely sure, Tyler. I feel it too, and I’m sure.”
