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He shook his head, wincing as she hit a tender spot. “I wasn’t being chivalrous. I got you pregnant. I deserved every punch Daniel threw at me.”
“We got me pregnant, Cal. We did that together.”
“I’m older. I’m your boss. I didn’t do right by you. I should have known better.”
She let out a long, incredulous breath. “You were the one person who treated me like I could take care of myself,” she said in a low voice full of all the anguish and loss his words punched out of her. He was repeating all the same arguments he’d had in the beginning. “The one person who respected me to make my own decisions.” And now, he was acting like their relationship had never been anything but a one-way street. Whatever lines had been crossed, they’d both crossed them. And it was good, it was love, it was everything.
Over the last three days, she’d been planning how to rearrange his home for the baby. And for her. Her apartment was the size of a postage stamp. The bedroom barely fit her bed, let alone all the things a baby would need. But in her heart, moving in with Cal—living with him, making love with him, sleeping with him, waking up with him—was the only thing she wanted. She’d never wanted anything more.
Until that damned terrible fight changed everything all over again.
She wanted to shout and scream and break something. Except that her brothers and Cal had already done that, and the fight, the violence, the anger had all been wrong. So very wrong.
She refused to make that same mistake herself, clenching her teeth to stop herself from hurling angry, bitter, unforgivable words at Cal as she cleaned his face, his cuts, his bruises, his hands.
She’d nearly finished when the downstairs buzzer rang. Assuming it was one of the girls coming to check on her—she and Cal had left before they’d had a chance to talk with anyone but her parents—she pressed the buzzer. “Hello?”
“Honey, can you let me in?”
Her mother. They’d already spoken about Cal and the baby. But Lyssa wanted, needed her comforting presence again. Especially when it felt like her entire world had slid off its axis.
As she buzzed her in, Cal finally spoke again. “I won’t leave you to deal with this on your own.”
“I’ve already spoken with my parents.” Which he would have known if he’d been able to communicate like a normal human being during the past hour, instead of a self-recriminating idiot. “There’s nothing to deal with.”
Her mother rapped on the door, and Lyssa was surprised to see she was alone.
“Where’s Dad?”
“I wanted to speak with you on my own.” She actually smiled at Cal. “I’m not sure who looks worse, you or Daniel.”
Even with the swelling and cuts and bruises, Lyssa saw the heat rise in his face as he stood politely. “I apologize for ruining your housewarming party, Susan. And I’m sorry I hurt your son.”
Without even a moment’s hesitation, Susan crossed the kitchen and took the big man in her arms. Then, stepping back, she held him at arm’s length, surveying the damage. “It’s not the first time passions have run high in my house. And I’m sure it won’t be the last.” She started to pat his cheek, thought better of it, and patted his shoulder instead. “Now, I wonder if I can have a bit of time alone with my daughter?”
Nodding, he said to Lyssa, “Could you walk me to the door?”
“I’ll just make some tea,” her mother said, giving them privacy.
Lyssa had a bad feeling about what Cal intended to say. In a low voice her mother wouldn’t overhear, she said, “You’re running again, aren’t you?”
She couldn’t read his expression, and it wasn’t just the bruises on his face or the swollen eye. “I have some thinking to do.” He spoke just as softly. “And you need room to think too.”
“Don’t tell me what I need.” She narrowed her eyes. “If you want to go, go. But don’t you dare try to make it about me. This is all you, Cal.” She took a breath so deep, it shook her chest. “I’ve made it clear to you in a million ways that I know you’re a good man. A wonderful man. I accept you just the way you are and love you for the man you are. But if you can’t believe it, then it doesn’t matter what I think or how many times I say I love you.”
He stared at her for a long moment, started to reach for her. But before he made contact, he pulled his hand back. “You need your rest, especially after today. I’ll be bad company, so I’ll stay at my place tonight.”
She refused to let him see how badly he’d hurt her once again. Far worse than the blows he’d landed on her brother. “Do whatever you need to do,” she said. Then she turned and walked away from him. If he wanted to leave so badly, he could let himself out.
