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“Do you want some time to—?”
“Do it,” Xavier says sharply. “I don’t want him suffering any longer than he has to.”
Tom nods solemnly and opens his black bag.
I turn my face away. I can’t watch.
A few minutes later, I hear Tom say, “All right, it should be less than a minute now.”
I force myself to turn back around. Tom’s putting a large syringe back in his bag.
Xavier has laid down beside Hellfire, his long arms wrapped completely around the horse’s neck. Hellfire takes one last breath… and then… he’s still.
Xavier freezes as well.
Then he presses his forehead to Hellfire’s. For a moment, everything’s quiet. Is Xavier praying? Communing with Hellfire’s spirit as it leaves his body? Or just quietly mourning? Xavier’s face is blank, giving nothing away.
And then he lets go of the horse and gets calmly to his feet. He ignores the wet grass stains all over his light-colored work shirt and blue jeans.
“Arrange for the disposal of the carcass, Tom. Charge my account. Call Kimball and cancel him coming out this morning. I’d appreciate it.” Next he looks my direction but not directly at me. Somewhere over the top of my left shoulder. “See to the chores today. No riding, though. That’s an order.”
Any other day, I might have balked at being ordered around like an errant puppy in front of a stranger, but today all I can do is worry about how weird and detached he’s being.
“Xavier,” I try, taking a step toward him with my hand out, but he’s turned on his heel before I can even get close, striding in the direction of the house.
“Don’t take it personally,” Tom says, coming to stand beside me as Xavier stalks off across the field. “Like I said, I’ve known him for five years. I’ve tried inviting him out for beers more times than I can count, but he always turns me down. At first I thought it was because he might not like to go out in public because of, ya know.” He gestures vaguely toward his face. “So I invited him over for a barbeque at my house, just me and him. We sort of bonded when he took in a stray dog a little while ago. He tried keeping him on the property, but the dog just kept going nuts around the horses. Eventually I adopted the little guy. Thought Xavier might want to come over and visit him. But still nothing. I guess he’s just not a people person.”
Well. The mystery of the dog kennel is finally solved. But still, why the hell is this guy telling me all this? Is he really just trying to make me feel better or is this some sad attempt at flirting?
As if he can read my thoughts, he continues quickly. “My wife would love to have you over. She’s always dying for female friends. We met in the city and I dragged her out here to the middle of nowhere because this is where I grew up and always envisioned myself living.” He smiles sheepishly. “Turns out the life of a small-town vet in Wyoming isn’t quite the sensational adventure I might have made it out to be.”
I snort. I can imagine. “I used to live in New York,” I offer.
He brightens. “Now you’ve got to meet her. She’s a Boston girl but she’s constantly complaining that no one around here has any sophistication.”
I offer him a smile even as I look worriedly in the distance at Xavier’s retreating back. “I’d like that,” I say. Not that I know if Xavier would be up for letting me go out for a social call. Which is bullshit. I frown. Some things need to change around here and some hard conversations need to be had. But not today with everything so screwed up.
I offer an awkward wave. “Look, there’s a lot to get done and I’m getting a late start.”
“Sure, sure,” Tom says, shifting his medical bag from one hand to the other. He looks back at Hellfire’s body. Paddyshack is nosing at the still form and my throat gets tight.
Carcass.
How could Xavier speak so coldly of the horse he was cradling in his arms just moments before? Was it a defense mechanism or can he really just turn off his feelings like a flip of the switch?
“How soon will you be able to…”
Tom follows my line of sight.
“I’ll have someone come remove him later today.”
I nod. “Thank you.”
“I’ll let Jillian know to expect your call.”
“Oh,” my eyes flash up to him in alarm. “I don’t know. We’re really busy here and I’m not sure when…” My voice drops off. “I’ll talk to Xavier about it. But now’s just not the time.” I look back in the direction Xavier left but he’s gone now. “I’d really like to meet her someday, though,” I finish lamely.
Tom looks at me a little curio
