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“No, Isobel, don’t say that.” Hunter got to his feet and approached her but she held her hand out to stop him.
“It’s true. I wasn’t good enough for my own mother.”
“Christ, Bel. She was just sick, she didn’t—”
“Exactly.” She was crying so hard her tears nearly blinded her. “And I’m sick the same way. What if I did that to you? Or God forbid I ever…” Her hands went to her stomach. Oh God, she and Hunter hadn’t always been safe when they’d had sex… Wait no, she’d just had her period a couple weeks ago and they’d been using condoms since then. She dropped her hands and breathed out in relief.
But a man like Hunter deserved children. And she’d never trust herself around them. She sobbed so hard her chest hurt.
“Please let me hold you.” Hunter’s voice was ragged. “It’s killing me seeing you like this and not holding you.”
Isobel didn’t have anything left so she just shrugged. Hunter must have taken that as a yes because he dragged her against him. Then he sat down on the bench and pulled her into his lap, cradling her to his chest.
He rubbed her back and whispered soothing sounds in her ear. “Shhh, you’re going to be all right. It’s all going to be okay. I promise. Do you hear me, Bel? I swear we’re going to make it all turn out okay.”
Isobel just buried her face in his chest. She hadn’t even told him about Catrina or the real reason she’d come to Wyoming yet. She didn’t have the strength for it right now. His arms around her felt so good, so safe. When he said everything would be all right, stupidly, impossibly, she wanted to believe him.
She knew better. Lord above, she knew better. Good things didn’t last. She couldn’t shed her DNA like last winter’s coat. She couldn’t outrun it, no matter how hard she kept trying.
Her hands fisted in Hunter’s shirt as she tried to gather the strength to do the right thing—to push him away for his own good once and for all.
But before she could muster it, his phone started ringing in his jeans pocket.
“Shit,” he swore. “I’m on call. I have to get that.”
She nodded and climbed off his lap. To be honest, she was glad for the interruption. She was so confused. Being in Hunter’s arms felt amazing. Like always, it felt right.
It was selfish to want him, though, when she was a ticking time bomb. She crossed her arms over her chest while Hunter stood up and answered the phone.
He nodded several times. “How long has the cow been down?” More nodding. Hunter sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Okay Alex, I’ll be out there in thirty minutes.”
He hung up the phone and looked over at Isobel. She tried for a wan smile. “So we’re off to look at a sick cow?”
Hunter breathed out. He clicked his phone back on and checked the time. “About that. I’m supposed to be getting you down to Bubba’s for a nightcap.”
“What?” Isobel asked in confusion.
“God, Mel’s gonna kill me.” He ran a hand through his hair. “But it’d be shitty to just send you in there like this. It’s a surprise party.”
Isobel’s face must have shown just how horrified she felt by the idea because Hunter crossed the short space between them and took her hands.
“Look, it’s shit timing. I’m sorry. I’m sorry about all of this. I was supposed to make you feel special on your birthday and instead I brought up all this heavy shit. And now I’ve got to leave and take care of this call.” He winced. “Why don’t I just call Mel and tell her you’re tired and not up for it tonight?”
Isobel thought about Mel and all the guys waiting for her in the bar. They’d be disappointed if she didn’t show. And they’d have questions.
She couldn’t remember the last time she’d had that—people who wanted to celebrate the good times with her and noticed and cared about her enough to press when things were bad. If she’d ever had it at all, apart from the summer with Rick’s family at the stables. In the short months they’d all had together, the people at the ranch had started to feel like family.
“No, it’s all right,” Isobel finally said. She could grin and bear it for a few hours. Who knew, maybe being around everyone would help her forget her troubles for a while? Or at least help her put off making a decision. She was, after all, the queen of running away from things she didn’t want to face.
Her shoulders slumped at the thought but she stood and walked down the stairs and headed toward the sidewalk. Bubba’s was at the end of the block on the other side of the road. There weren’t any more cars parked out front than normal. They must have all either parked in the back or on side streets to keep up the illusion that it was just a regular night.
Hunter was quickly by her side, his hand sliding into hers. It was such a simple gesture, childish almost—holding hands. But Hunter’s grip was so firm and solid that again, she was tempted to believe that anything was possible. That what if maybe, just maybe, her future didn’t have to be as bleak as she always assumed?
How could a simple touch do that? But no, it wasn’t just any touch. It was Hunter.
Ugh, she was tired of her rollercoaster thoughts and emotions. Didn’t that just prove she wasn’t stable enough to trust herself?
Before she could think on that too long, though, they were in front of Bubba’s.
