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I pounded at my head. The rain poured down, drenching me. Get out, get out, damn memories.
Him standing over me, heaving for breath while I curled into a ball in the corner. Look what you made me do again. Why can’t you just be a normal woman? All I wanted was a good, easy life but then I got stuck with you. What a fucking disappointment.
It was so visceral, the memory of him walking off. Me bawling, useless, clutching my stomach that was completely void. Void of life because I’d failed my little baby.
And now this was my curse, to be stuck with him forever. Punishing me forever.
“Stop!” I screamed, charging into the barn. “Stop it!”
I found the two brothers on the floor grappling with each other, but they both froze and looked up at me with twin looks of surprise.
Reece let go of his brother and struggled to get up, one hand raised. “Charlie. Wait. I don’t know what you heard, but—”
“Who’s Peg?” I asked him.
Jeremiah got to his feet, dusting the dirt and hay off himself, and watching us warily.
“That’s not important,” Reece said, waving a hand distractedly. “Look, my brother’s an asshole—”
“No, why don’t you tell her about Peg?” Jeremiah said, and Reece shot him a murderous glare.
“Fine!” Reece finished glaring at his brother and then his face softened with… remorse?... as he looked back to me.
“Peg was the first woman I ever really…”
“Had an affair with,” Jeremiah supplied.
My mouth dropped open and Reece swung his head to glare at Jeremiah. “Isn’t there somewhere you need to be, brother?”
Jeremiah crossed his arms over his chest and didn’t look like he was going anywhere, but just then, the barn door slammed again and Buck ran in, startling all of us.
“Whoa, what’d I miss?”
“Not now, Buck,” Jeremiah said. “You can wait out the storm in the bunkhouse or take a long lunch if you want.”
“It’s not that, boss. Just got a call from the sheriff, who said the cows are out on the 284 again.”
Jeremiah swore and swung down to grab his hat off the ground, which I assumed he’d lost while fighting Reece. “That’s the last goddamn thing we need, especially with the storm, who the hell knows how disoriented they’ll get if they start running. Come on, Buck. Let’s go see if we can round ‘em up.”
“In this?” Buck said, eyebrows up as he threw a thumb over his shoulder. “Can’t we wait it out, then go?”
“Jesus fucking Christ, do I have to do everything myself? You,” he pointed a finger at Reece. “Clear this up before I get back.” Then he stormed past Buck right out into what was now a deluge.
“Jeez, what crawled up his ass and took a shit?”
“Not now, Buck,” Reece said, sounding exactly like his brother as he turned his glare on Buck. “I need to have a private conversation with Charlie.”
“Damn.” Buck held up his hands. “Don’t get your panties in a twist.”
When Reece just kept staring at him, Buck shook his head, muttered something under his breath, and then turned and headed back out into the rain.
Leaving just me and Reece in the barn, a dull roar on the tin roof as the rain blew sideways in a torrent.
Reece took a step toward me but I held up a hand. “Don’t.”
“Charlie—”
“Have I just been some substitute all along? For Peg, whoever she is?”
“God, I’m gonna kill my brother. No. No.” Again he tried to take a step forward and I took a step back, a warning look on my face that had him stopping in his tracks.
“Peg was a woman I knew when I was barely grown myself. Jer and I were nineteen, we’d just left California. It was the first time we’d worked a ranch. Wayne took us on because we’d accept almost no pay, just eager to learn a trade of any kind and frankly glad to have a roof over our heads. For a while it was great.”
He let out a heavy sigh. “Then I’d hear Wayne and his wife fighting. No, I’d just hear Wayne yelling at his wife though the windows of the ranch house. I didn’t know he beat her, not at first.”
I swallowed, but too many emotions were bubbling up so I swallowed again.
“And you fell in love with her?” I managed to get out.
For a moment, Reece looked lost. “I just—” his voice trailed off. “One day after her husband was yelling at her, I heard a crash. Wayne stormed out of the house and drove off. Jer told me not to get involved, that it wasn’t my business. But after all the ranch hands went off to our duties for the day, I doubled back to check on her. Which was when I found her on the floor in the kitchen. There were a couple of shattered plates on the floor beside her and her face—”
