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“You should put that on a t-shirt,” he retorted, lifting his own mug of biscuit-less tea to his lips and sipping.
Well, that was rude.
I sighed. “I bet that was a perfectly good cup, too. Hey, do you think I can scoop it out with a spoon?” I jumped up from the stool.
Frowning, Alex exchanged his mug for mine and swept it away before I could grab a spoon to test my theory.
“Hey!”
“I’m making you another one,” he replied, carrying it to the sink.
“It’s just a little biscuit!”
CHAPTER NINETEEN – ALEXANDER
It’s just a little biscuit, she said.
Ignoring her protest, I tipped the entire cup into the sink. A stodgy lump of biscuit slapped against the stainless steel, and Adelaide wrinkled her nose up.
“Maybe not,” she relented, peering over my arm into the sink. “That’s quite a lot of biscuit.”
I glanced down at her. “Exactly. Now let me make you another.”
“I can do it. It was my own fault for pushing the biscuit gods.”
I waved her off and re-boiled the kettle, then made her tea the way she liked it. “Here you go.”
Adelaide took the mug from me, looking into it. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Just don’t piss the biscuit gods off again.”
“I don’t plan on it.” She took a step back before she paused. “Alex? Can we talk?”
I should have known that question was coming.
Shit, if she didn’t ask, I was going to. That was the only reason I was in the kitchen, after all. I didn’t usually make myself late-night cups of tea.
Anyone who thought drinking alcohol alone was sad had never sat with a cup of tea in the dark.
I suspected that if I didn’t find her, she might have gone searching for me. I knew we had to have a conversation about what had happened last night, but that didn’t mean I wanted to.
I had no idea what I was supposed to say to her.
I couldn’t apologise—I didn’t regret kissing her. I couldn’t wish to take it back because it wasn’t the truth. I couldn’t say that I wanted to change what had happened, because I was not going to lie to her.
Kissing Adelaide had been simultaneously the worst and best decision of my life.
And whatever I said to her depended on what she wanted to say to me.
I knew, deep down inside me that the part of me that I’d buried after Natalie’s death was coming back to life. That little part of us all that allows us to love and be loved.
Mine was waking up.
Because of Adelaide.
And that fucking terrified me.
“Yes, of course. Do you want to go somewhere else?” I asked, picking up my mug. “We might be less likely to be disturbed elsewhere. Ma is still awake, I believe.”
She nodded. “The library?”
“Lead the way.” I motioned for her to go ahead of me and followed her into the library. I switched the light on and pulled the door closed behind me in the hope we could talk in private. Just because nobody was around now didn’t mean it would stay that way.
Adelaide sipped from her tea and set it down before she chose her spot on the sofa and tucked her legs beneath her. I joined her on the sofa, keeping my mug close to me, and turned to face her.
“You’ve been avoiding me all day,” she said matter-of-factly.
“I suppose I have,” I admitted. There was no use arguing with her. “I wasn’t sure if you would want to speak to me today.”
“Alexander, we’re both adults.” She tucked her hair behind her ear. “But, yes, I wasn’t sure if you’d want to speak to me, either. Although replying to a text wouldn’t have gone amiss.”
“Sorry.” My lips twitched.
She cleared her throat but didn’t say anything, and an awkward silence hung in the air between us.
I didn’t know what to say to her.
I wasn’t going to lie to her, that much I’d decided. One thousand times. Even if it made everything awkward, I couldn’t tell her that I regretted it.
I regretted walking away from her.
That was it.
“I’m sorry if my actions made you uncomfortable,” I finally said after a few minutes. “It wasn’t my intention.”
Adelaide stared at me for a second then dropped her head and laughed.
“What?”
“I don’t know,” she said, pressing her hand to her mouth and looking at me. “I guess that wasn’t the apology I was expecting from you.”
“Is it the one you wanted?”
“I didn’t want an apology at all. I merely wanted to discuss what happened, but if you feel inclined to give me one, you go ahead.”
“Then that’s the apology you’ll get.” I met her eyes. “I’m not going to apologise for something I’m not sorry for.”
She swallowed. “So you don’t regret kissing me last night?”
“I do not.”
Her lips parted into a small ‘o’ shape, but she didn’t say anything.
“Hence the apology being worded the way it was. I’m not sorry I kissed you, Adelaide, but I am extremely sorry if my doing so made you uncomfortable in any way. It won’t happen again.”
