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I had no idea how to cope with this.
Nobody had ever told me how to explain a bloody period to my autistic ten-year-old daughter.
I stepped out into the hallway and pulled her door closed, then leaned against the wall next to it.
I felt like a catastrophic failure. Why wasn’t I ready for this? Why hadn’t I known that she could start her period this early? I knew she’d hit puberty—Ma had bought her padded crop tops and bras and spoken to her about it, and I knew Sylvia had spoken to her loosely about the changes she would go through.
But it was supposed to be preparatory.
Nobody was ready for this.
It was me.
I was nobody.
I was not bloody ready for this, and I had no idea how I could help my daughter through it.
“It’s okay,” Adelaide said from inside after several minutes. A door closed, and I assumed they were now out of the bathroom and back into the bedroom. “It’s really scary, Oly, and it’s okay to be scared. I’m going to look online right now and look for a book that will explain everything to you in a way you can understand.”
“Will you tell anyone?”
“I think it’s a good idea to tell Mrs. Berry. She might be able to help you, and it’s always a good thing to have someone who knows, especially when you’re not feeling well. It can happen a little unexpectedly sometimes, so it’s good to be prepared.”
There was a pause.
“Right now, I’ll go to my room and get one of those green packets for you. Are you sure you’re okay putting them on your undies?”
More silence.
“Good. Okay. Now, you might get some ouchies in your tummy or your back, right here and here. That’s normal, and it’s your body trying to help get rid of that extra stuff in your uterus, okay? The stuff we just talked about in the bathroom?”
“The baby cushions,” Olympia replied, making my heart clench.
“The baby cushions,” Adelaide replied. “That’s what the period is. Throwing out the baby cushions.”
“Yes.”
“If you get some pain in your pelvis, like your hips, you tell me, and I’ll make sure you get some medicine to make it better, okay?”
“Only you,” Olympia responded. “Only tell you.”
“No, honey, anyone you feel comfortable telling. Me, Papa, Granny, Mrs. Berry—”
“Only you.”
I swallowed, resting my forehead against the wall.
“If that’s what you’re okay with, then I’ll be here whenever you need me. Any time, okay, Oly? You knock on my door, and I promise, I will be here.”
“What about when you go home? To your house? The one that’s the hotel where you’re near Gabi?”
“Oh, we have the Internet, do we not? You can call me or text me or send me silly bunny filters on that app I don’t know how to use. No matter where I am, I’ll always reply to you, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Do you feel better now?”
“I do. It’s normal. There’s a video to watch.”
“And I’ll get you a book as soon as I can.”
“Yes.” Pause. “Thank you, Addy. I love you.”
Another pause. “I love you, too, Olympia.”
Shit. Fucking shit. Bloody fucking shit.
More pausing. “Why don’t you get into bed and watch some TV or play on your Switch? I’ll get you some water and half a paracetamol in case your tummy starts hurting.”
Silence.
“Okay. Let’s tuck you in.”
A lump formed in my throat, and I closed my eyes at the softness in Addy’s voice.
She was giving my daughter the one thing I’d never been able to.
A female figure.
A mother figure.
Despite all the women I’d desperately tried to surround my daughter with—my mum, Gabriella, Mrs. Bell, Mrs. Berry, the other staff members, her dance classes and her cooking sessions and everyone else she adored—it was desperately clear that she needed someone who could understand her in a way nobody else could.
And that person was Adelaide.
I had to change her mind—about me, about us, about everything.
Because I was in trouble.
That moment. That one right there, on the other side of the door, where she took control and loved my daughter more than I’d ever known anyone outside her family to love her…
All it took was one moment. One small, small moment, and it’d just happened. Like lightning. Faster than I ever thought it would.
That was it.
That was the moment I knew I was falling in love with Adelaide Astley.
And I simply had to give it my everything just in case she could love me, too.
“I’ll be right back, okay?”
I stepped away and brushed away all my thoughts as Adelaide’s footsteps approached the door and she slipped into the hall. She gently closed the door with the slightest of clicks and looked at me, her lips curved softly to one side. The kindness in her eyes hit me like a punch to the gut.
Jesus, she was mesmerising.
“I think she’s okay,” she whispered. “I’m glad I was here. It’s scary, but don’t worry, it’s fine. I’ve got it. I’ll make sure she has everything she needs.”
