AllFreeNovel
Share Us
There was brief discussion of trying to get everyone moved to Green Creek, but packing everyone up and bringing them cross-country wasn’t in the cards. There wasn’t room, at least not yet. I thought Joe and Ox were making plans, preliminary though they were. Elizabeth, Carter, and Tanner had stayed with him in Caswell initially, with Ox going back and forth, but they’d come back a week before, just as they had the previous full moon at the beginning of the month. I hadn’t been ready then. I didn’t know if I was now.
I told myself we had bigger things to focus on.
Healing.
Putting our lives back together.
Looking for Livingstone and Gavin, though they had all but disappeared.
But….
It was on me, Aileen and Patrice had informed us. It was all on me. The reason I hadn’t snapped back like Carter and Mark had after Livingstone had initially died, the reason my door hadn’t shattered like theirs, was because I didn’t want it to.
I was holding it closed.
“You’re frightened,” Aileen said quietly, “of what you’ll find. Of remembering all that has happened. And that fear is stronger than any magic Robert Livingstone ever had. Until you conquer that fear, you’ll remain as you are.”
I didn’t want to believe her or Patrice, but I knew they were right.
Kelly didn’t push. I didn’t know why until he told me that he would support whatever decision I made. But I thought there was something in his eyes, something in his voice that proved him a liar, even though his heart remained steady.
I loved him fiercely.
What if that changed? What if nothing was ever the same?
It didn’t hurt that he was distracted too, trying to get Carter to open up. Carter, who had turned surly and gruff, who rarely smiled or spoke. I heard their many one-sided conversations as Kelly pleaded with him over the phone to no avail. It upset him, but I didn’t know what else could be done aside from finding Gavin and bringing him back.
Carter had nearly bitten Kelly’s head off when he said as much. I heard the anger in his voice when he snapped that Gavin had made his choice, and he didn’t give a fuck about it.
Elizabeth said Carter spent a lot of time alone in the refuge outside Caswell. I hoped he was finding peace in the trees like I had.
“This isn’t just for you,” Gordo said now, voice soft. “I… look, kid. I won’t pretend to know what it’s like between you and Kelly, but I do know what it’s like to be mated to a wolf. And all the baggage that comes with it. Things are better now with Mark, but we’ve had to fight tooth and nail, fang and claw to get where we are. Loving a wolf… it’s hard. Especially when one of those wolves is a Bennett. We don’t have normal lives.”
I snorted despite myself. “That’s an understatement.”
He ignored me. “But you’ll never know just how deep that love goes until you give in to the truth. You may think you can continue on as you are now, and maybe you will, for a little while at least. But you’ll know deep down that it isn’t everything. That you’re still holding a part of you back. And Kelly doesn’t deserve that. Not after everything. Not after all he did to get to you.”
I hung my head.
“I’m not trying to make you feel bad, kid. Just wanted to lay it all out for you. Give you something to think about.”
I nodded, listening to the sounds of Rico and Chris in the garage, shitty rock music playing from the old stereo.
Gordo’s chair creaked as he sat back. “We have a fight on our hands. One day, and one day soon, we’ll find him. And when we do, it’s either going to be him or us. And we’ll need everyone that we can get by our side at their full strength.”
I looked up at him. “Your dad.”
“Yeah.”
“And your brother.”
His expression tightened. “I don’t give a fuck about—”
“Don’t lie, Gordo. Not to me. Not when you’re giving me shit about the truth.”
His knuckles popped as he curled his hand into a fist. “I….” He shook his head. “Goddammit. I don’t know what to think about… him.”
“Gavin.”
